The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive

4.6 | 458 ratings

Price: 15.75

Last update: 10-14-2024

About this item

"Based on groundbreaking research that has the power to change the lives of countless children - and the adults who love them." (Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts)

A book that offers hope and a pathway to success for parents, teachers, psychologists, and child development experts coping with difficult children

In Tom Boyce's extraordinary new audiobook, he explores the "dandelion" child (hardy, resilient, healthy), able to survive and flourish under most circumstances, and the "orchid" child (sensitive, susceptible, fragile), who, given the right support, can thrive as much as, if not more than, other children.

Boyce writes of his pathfinding research as a developmental pediatrician working with troubled children in child-development research for almost four decades and explores his major discovery that reveals how genetic make-up and environment shape behavior. He writes that certain variant genes can increase a person's susceptibility to depression, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and antisocial, sociopathic, or violent behaviors. But rather than seeing this "risk" gene as a liability, Boyce, through his daring research, has recast the way we think of human frailty and has shown that while these "bad" genes can create problems, they can also, in the right setting and the right environment, result in producing children who not only do better than before but far exceed their peers.

Orchid children, Boyce makes clear, are not failed dandelions; they are a different category of child, with special sensitivities and strengths, and need to be nurtured and taught in special ways. And in The Orchid and the Dandelion, Boyce shows us how to understand these children for their unique sensibilities, their considerable challenges, their remarkable gifts.

gail f hatch

Finally, the perfect gift for every new parent and all who work with children!

Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2019

Dr. Boyce invites us to journey with him through 30 plus years of enlightening research into early childhood development as it relates to epidemiology, stress, environment and emotional health. Unpacking the complexities of how children fare through trauma, challenges, environment and family of origin issues, W. Thomas Boyce leads the reader through a series of narratives both professional and personal along with fascinating research he and teams of pediatric researchers uncover about young children. Surprisingly the results were not entirely what as they had expected. From biological, mental, social, psychological and environmental findings collected from hundreds of children, two categories of children began to emerge making sense of their collected data : the orchid more sensitive child and the hardy dandelion child. To that end, much wisdom unfolds for all of us as to what differentiates the orchid child from the dandelion child regardless of his or her demographic and other variables. Most importantly Dr. Boyce along with his colleagues and research teams observed over and over again how a nurturing environment impacts the development for the "orchid-esque" child in terms of his or her ability to thrive. In a loving and understanding environment these children not only thrive but most often soar! With great hope given for all the world's children intertwined with helpful narratives, fascinating insights, poetry and professional expertise this book offers parents, those who work closely with children or parents and even those of us who appreciate insights into our own family of origin not to mention our own child within... oceans of wisdom!

Diane L. Desrosiers

Fantastic

Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2024

I wish I would have read this book when my kids were little and when I was teaching. The author’s personal connection to the subject matter within his own family makes this book even more compelling.

DocE

An important book that has helped me understand my self, my family, and friends.

Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2019

I am an Orchid child who grew up under adverse, stressful circumstances. My youth was characterized by extreme shyness, impulsiveness, severe nail biting, seemingly perpetual knee bouncing, anxiety and many fears. I survived and have mostly conquered this background, through strong academics, athletics and music. This book gave me great insight into my own development. I have, without reservation recommended it to my family and friends, some of them Orchid like and some Dandelions. I think it is mandatory reading for anyone who is thinking about or raising a child, if only to teach them to recognize the sensitivities of their children, and to try some of the suggestions Tom makes to structure your family life around your Orchids. It might help the dandelions understand why the lives of family members, and friends may have failed.

Gratefully,
Richard Eastman M.D.
Former Director, Division of Diabetes, Endocrinology, and Metabolic Diseases
National Institute of Diabetes, Digestive Diseases (NIDDK)
National Institutes of Health.

victoria oyama

Helping all children to thrive

Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2019

I was fascinated to read this book as I live with my two granddaughters and I want to help them get the best out of life. One is a typical dandelion while the other is a typical orchid. Her actual name is 'Orchid' although it is the Japanese word for orchid as she is Japanese. I had already realized that she is a Highly Sensitive Person and what I read in Dr Boyce's book confirmed it. Reading this book, I felt a bit depressed when I considered her journey being buffeted by the rough waves of life. In that respect this book was not such a feel-good book reassuring me that everything will be all right. It was more of a cold hard look at everything and impressed upon me the need to give all children lots of love and care to foster their self-confidence and help them make it through school, etc. But on the whole, I give Dr Boyce's book a high rating and I am very glad I read it. I got a lot out of it.

Tech Master Earl

This book changed my perspective on myself and the world.

Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2019

I couldn't understand why there were certain things about myself that I simply could not control for better or for worse. I would "overreact" reliably and this caused me great stress. It's when I learned it was a part of me and not a part of my psychology that I was liberated from the guilt of my inability to mimic my peers.

The author wrote the book with passion and takes the reader on a journey without losing sight of the final destination. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is a highly sensitive person or to anyone who is very close to a highly sensitive person. It will help to bridge all those invisible gaps.

EdwardB

This book is on point.

Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2019

This book was on point for the most part. Dr. Joe has done his homework and is quite perceptive. Writing style is easy. I was reminded of much that I knew and was taught a few new things. An interesting book without question..

Trin Ket

torn in box

Reviewed in the United States on June 13, 2020

this was to be a gift, but i cant give her a torn cover. dissapointed

David Anderson MD FACC

The unraveling of a scientific mystery that affects us all

Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2019

I read this remarkable book as a physician, as a parent of adopted children and as a Christian deeply interested in the human condition. At all levels I was enriched. Dr Boyce not only brings clarity as he explains a whole new area of understanding in the biology and psychology of human development, he also gives us an enthralling exciting view of the scientific method at work and those who dedicate their lives to its pursuit. As there is no one who does not have an interest in the children around them or the child they were, there is no none who would not find this book edifying

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