You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships

4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars | 424 ratings

Price: 12.85

Last update: 07-30-2024


Top reviews from the United States

budmc
5.0 out of 5 stars Probably the best book I’ve read on opening to a new way
Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2024
Most likely the most intelligent methodology on approach the fundamentals of relationships.
Laura McLaughlin
5.0 out of 5 stars The Road Map to relationships we have all been waiting for!!!
Reviewed in the United States on May 28, 2024
I have been a psychotherapist for 20 years and when this book came out last July I bought it immediately and have been adamantly insisting ALL of my client read it as they do the work of therapy to unburden themselves from the trap that the majority of us bought into UNTIL we found our SELF and tapped into the healing energy that makes it possible to be authentically ourselves and connect authentically with others. I would like to see a teen version of this book to reach a younger audience that desperately need this information as well.
Murice
5.0 out of 5 stars Content
Reviewed in the United States on June 15, 2024
I checked this out through the library first. Is very good and short. Quality of product was as expected.
Seeker
5.0 out of 5 stars Every single couple should read this
Reviewed in the United States on December 13, 2023
I am not sure I know of any marriages that don’t fall into the same pattern of the same argument, repeating itself. All of us bring all of ourselves to marriage and that means we bring our families as well… The influence of our parents, our siblings, other relatives, and the generations that went before them. Most of us have no idea that we are projecting our relationship history onto the present, onto our intimate relationships in particular. That unresolved conflict with mom, that sense of how your siblings never respected your opinion, that sadness you feel because dad never really supported your career - all that often shows up in marriage because we unconsciously anticipate it and react accordingly/defensively, even if our spouse is not acting in the same exact way. And we hang 1000 expectations and needs and demands on our partners - “complete me!” This book shows you that no one else can do what you just do for yourself: heal.
William Krimm
4.0 out of 5 stars A good discussion of IFS and romantic relationships
Reviewed in the United States on November 10, 2023
This was a nice addition to the material I have on IFS. It was not a waste of money.
Alaskan Reader
5.0 out of 5 stars A Life-changing Read
Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2024
The contents of this book is both enlightening and practical. I found just reading it to be immensely healing. Its rings true — spot on, actually — and its tools will be most helpful moving forward.
Thomas P. Stinson
5.0 out of 5 stars Paradigm Shift
Reviewed in the United States on September 23, 2023
(I have NO idea why Amazon is asking me to determine the age appropriateness of this book? It’s not for children!)

I’ve read quite a few “couples counseling” books, but this is the one that worked for me. What if improving communication skills had no effect on your relationship? What if the best (perhaps only) way to improve your relationship is self improvement? What if your personality, your “self” isn’t one monolithic whole, but a conglomeration of “parts” or sub personalities? What if part of a healthy relationship is the ability to walk away? This book was my introduction to Internal Family Systems, which teaches that our true selves are surrounded by subordinate personalities that have learned to defend us. It also delves into how we can assuage the fears of our subordinate personalities (parts) in order to speak, act and live as our true selves. This is a very challenging book, truly one that can flip your understanding of yourself and your relationships upside down. You may never look at people the same way ever again, including yourself. The most transformative book I have read in my lifetime. Highly recommended, with or without a distressed intimate relationship.
Beanie
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2024
helpful

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