People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts

4.6 | 888 ratings

Price: 17.71

Last update: 09-03-2024

About this item

Improve your personal and professional relationships instantly with this timeless guide to communication, listening skills, body language, and conflict resolution.

A wall of silent resentment shuts you off from someone you love....You listen to an argument in which neither party seems to hear the other....Your mind drifts to other matters when people talk to you....

People Skills is a communication-skills handbook that can help you eliminate these and other communication problems. Author Robert Bolton describes the twelve most common communication barriers, showing how these "roadblocks" damage relationships by increasing defensiveness, aggressiveness, or dependency. He explains how to acquire the ability to listen, assert yourself, resolve conflicts, and work out problems with others. These are skills that will help you communicate calmly, even in stressful emotionally charged situations.

People Skills will show you:

How to get your needs met using simple assertion techniques
How body language often speaks louder than words
How to use silence as a valuable communication tool
How to de-escalate family disputes, lovers' quarrels, and other heated arguments

Both thought-provoking and practical, People Skills is filled with workable ideas that you can use to improve your communication in meaningful ways, every day.

Garden Goddess

how to be nicer without turning into a doormat

Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2016

I agree with the positive reviews of this book. I got a lot out of it and realized I have unwittingly created many of the roadblocks at one time or another. I learned how they work and I'm trying to avoid using them now that I am aware of them. Things like being critical and giving unsolicited advice are obviously bad, but the light bulb came on for me when I read that compliments could also be used in an effort to manipulate or control. They can put a label on someone that stops further communication. I always felt weird when people paid a compliment that seemed unwarranted or even creepy (like "you're such a beautiful girl, I know you will help me out." What has one got to do with the other?!); I previously thought I was being ungracious or something was wrong with me. (I always said thank you out loud so as not to be rude.) I see now that there was more to many of these compliments and my instincts were spot-on. So now when I get one of these slimy-feeling little compliments, I look deeper for the ulterior motive and can resist the attempt at manipulation to come. I look deeper into what everyone says now, comparing what they say to how they say it to make sure I'm getting the true meaning and not missing something important to the other person. I ask for clarification if I'm unsure of the meaning. I think of all the misunderstandings & hurt feelings caused because I didn't pay close enough attention and jumped to the wrong conclusions, creating arguments and discord. This is really useful at work too, where people tend to be less forthcoming and you have to ask the right questions (but not too many!)

In a nutshell, you can learn how to be a nicer person who shows real concern and respect for others, and who can stand up to aggressive people when necessary. I don't mind the wordiness or the quotes from other psychologists, some of them are quite nice. Like any book, you can get what you need out of it and ignore the rest.

Saistrology Yogini

"Ultimate People Skills"

Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2011

This is a book in a class of it's own. Robert Bolten knows what he is talking about and uses everyday language in his writing and uses scenarios that everyone can relate to. As I continue to grow and become a better listener and speaker, I found it more difficult to deal with people who were lacking in one or both of these areas. This book is helping to me not only deal with that problem but is showing me ways to become an even better listener and more skilled in the way I communicate my thoughts, feelings, and desires. A lot of people have good enough "people skills" to help them get what they want and/or succeed in life. But this book takes it to another level. When I talk to people about it I always preface it by saying it should be called "Ultimate". If you are looking for a book that would help me fine tune and improve my ability to communicate effectively AND deal with people who are lacking in that area (I use to be one of those people).God is the ultimate source of my healing. Without Him, I would never have found the need or desire to want to change for the better. If you are on a journey to become a better person this book is packed with a lot of great ideas and suggestions on how to get there.

Massai

Life Changing!

Reviewed in the United States on April 27, 2020

This is by far the best and only “People Skills” book I’ve read in my life. This book changed my life forever. This book can do the same for you. I rarely state reviews for any book, nothing bad, just always looked at others reviews on books. But I said for this book I have no choice but to write a review. Taking action on these “People Skills” excercises together really helped me an my significant other find peace within each other. We would go back an forth arguing all the time conversing was terrible! When started using methods in the book before I even got finished reading it! She told me things she never told me before, I felt so dumb because all I had to do was hear her out and acknowledge her understanding and I realized she just needed someone to hear her out! I really recommend this book. I’m really feeling invincible I’m finding out I’m a natural in decoding messages this helped me tap into another power within my subconscious. Let the most high bless those that are interested and the author. Your in for some good reading and superb “People Skills” which is essential in our society in everyday life. Remember to let it all flow and breathe! Peace&Light

Petra D Horn-Keller

If you feel like your communication is frequently leading to nowhere lands

Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2014

Haven't made it all the way through this book yet but am engaged so far. The first part is mostly about listening, if you have had any motivational interviewing training, this will all sound very familiar. Anyhow, listening is not what I was hoping to improve but the next phase about assertiveness does have lots of helpful information. If you feel like your communication is frequently leading to nowhere lands, this book has some well-researched solid ideas. I recommend checking this out.

Best communication skills book ever!

Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2016

Best book ever for learning about communication skills. I first read this about 13 years agoin college and loved it then; wushed I'd have read it way sooner. Now I'm a counselor and recommend this book more than anything else. This is a life skills book that every person should read. Perfect for your teens, any individual, bosses and employees, and couples...really great for everyone since communication (verbal and non-verbal) take place everywhere every day. It's packed with great information and no extra flub to fill space. Straight forward and clear. Awesome information, seriously! If you're struggling to communicate with someone (or want to make sure you do), this book will help provide you needed tools and ideas.

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