The Scaffold Effect: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars | 256 ratings

Price: 13.78

Last update: 09-10-2024


About this item

Prevent and counteract the general anxiety and emotional fragility prevalent in children and teenagers today - a new parenting philosophy and strategies that give children the tools to flourish on their own.

“A master synthesizer of attachment science, medical practice, and his own experience as a father, Harold Koplewicz capably and compassionately leads us through the art of scaffolding, from early childhood through the important adolescent period.” (Daniel J. Siegel, MD, author of The Whole Brain Child)

Just as sturdy scaffolding is necessary when erecting a building and will come down when the structure grows stable, good parenting provides children with steady and warm emotional nourishment on the path toward independence. Never-ending parental problem-solving and involvement can have the opposite effect, enabling fragility and anxiety over time.

In The Scaffold Effect, world-renowned child psychiatrist Harold Koplewicz introduces the powerful and clinically tested idea that this deliberate build-up and then gradual loosening of parental support is the single most effective way to encourage kids to climb higher, try new things, grow from mistakes, and develop character and strength. Explaining the building blocks of an effective scaffold from infancy through young adulthood, he expertly guides parents through the strategies for raising empowered, capable people, including:

  • Lay a solid foundation: The parent-child relationship needs to be made from the concrete mixture of emotional availability, positive reinforcement, clear messaging, and consistent rules. From this supportive base, your will forge a bond that will survive adolescence and grow stronger into adulthood.
  • Empower growth: Skyscraper or sprawling ranch - the style of your child’s construction is not up to you! Scaffold parenting validates and accommodates the shape the child is growing into. Any effort to block or control growth will actually stunt it.
  • Stay on their level: Imagine being on the ground floor of a house and trying to talk to someone on the roof. The person on the roof will have to “talk down” to you or yell. If your child’s building and your scaffold are on the same level, you can speak directly, look each other in the eye, and keep the lines of communication open.

Drawing on Dr. Koplewicz’s decades of clinical and personal experience, The Scaffold Effect is a compassionate, street-smart, and essential guide for the ages.

All of the author’s proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the Child Mind Institute.


Top reviews from the United States

C
5.0 out of 5 stars Solid parenting advice, with interesting statistics and studies cited
Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2021
This book is full of helpful tips, and explanations of child psychology that can be very useful when trying to raise a healthy child. Right from the start the author gives information about tactics to use when parenting, often citing relevant (and sometimes surprising) clinical studies to support his methods. For example in the first few pages he mentions that 70% of children in the juvenile justice system are dyslexic, which I never would have guessed, and advises how to handle children with dyslexia in order to avoid long term negative outcomes.

My favorite parts of the book might have been the “Do not do this at home” mini-sections that use great examples of how NOT to parent. For example one such section explains why you should not ridicule or belittle your child, citing a recent study that indicated that children of parents who act this way are more likely to be bullied.

My only complaint about this book was that it relies a little too heavily on the “Scaffold” metaphor; to the point where by the middle of the book I was thinking to myself “Yes we get it, its like building a house. Can you just give me the parenting tips though?” This is not a big deal at all, I just started to find it a bit annoying after a couple hundred pages. Some of the metaphors were a bit of a stretch, but all in all this is still a good book full of useful information; so I would maybe take off half of a star. 4.5 / 5
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C
5.0 out of 5 stars Solid parenting advice, with interesting statistics and studies cited
Reviewed in the United States on February 13, 2021
This book is full of helpful tips, and explanations of child psychology that can be very useful when trying to raise a healthy child. Right from the start the author gives information about tactics to use when parenting, often citing relevant (and sometimes surprising) clinical studies to support his methods. For example in the first few pages he mentions that 70% of children in the juvenile justice system are dyslexic, which I never would have guessed, and advises how to handle children with dyslexia in order to avoid long term negative outcomes.

My favorite parts of the book might have been the “Do not do this at home” mini-sections that use great examples of how NOT to parent. For example one such section explains why you should not ridicule or belittle your child, citing a recent study that indicated that children of parents who act this way are more likely to be bullied.

My only complaint about this book was that it relies a little too heavily on the “Scaffold” metaphor; to the point where by the middle of the book I was thinking to myself “Yes we get it, its like building a house. Can you just give me the parenting tips though?” This is not a big deal at all, I just started to find it a bit annoying after a couple hundred pages. Some of the metaphors were a bit of a stretch, but all in all this is still a good book full of useful information; so I would maybe take off half of a star. 4.5 / 5
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Kim Muench
5.0 out of 5 stars FANTASTIC parenting book!
Reviewed in the United States on April 3, 2021
I've read A LOT of parenting books as a parent coach, this one was really on point and I've recommended it to many clients already. Easy to read and understand, it approaches conscious parenting in a very relatable way for any parent to digest. Highly recommend!
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars good book
Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2023
Inspiring and insightful for raising children at all ages. Learned a lot of strategies and tactics myself. Quite a fun read as well.
Michelle Diaz
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is a must read!
Reviewed in the United States on August 9, 2021
This book combines the most helpful information out there in an easy to understand, actionable way. It should be given out to every parent along with "What to Expect When You're Expecting".
Jill
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Parenting Book
Reviewed in the United States on January 18, 2023
I love to read. I especially love to read parenting books. This book is one of my favorites. Practical advice for parents and strategies you can use immediately. I've already recommended it to all of my friends with kids. This is a must have.
Rachel
5.0 out of 5 stars Great for new clinicians
Reviewed in the United States on February 7, 2021
As a new clinician working with children and families, this book was extremely informative and easy to read (I read it in 2 days!) The author gives practical, easy-to-use strategies with real life examples. Highly recommend!!
Karen Orth
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book for parents
Reviewed in the United States on March 12, 2022
I’ve read and reviewed many parenting book and this one hit it out of the park! Highly recommended by a child play therapist.
plcm
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow great hands-on resource!
Reviewed in the United States on April 19, 2024
I heard the NPR interview with Mr. Koplewicz, author of the book Scaffold Parenting. I was so intrigued that I bought copies of the book for myself and for my adult children, who have kids of their own now. In the first chapter I knew I had FINALLY found a great parenting roadmap!

All I can say is where the heck was this easy-to-read book when I was searching for effective parenting strategies? Thank God this great blueprint is finally here. I appreciate its links to supportive resources and usable hands-on information that helps parents (and grandparents) learn how to build better relationships with their kids and grandkids. It’s a major tool for parents in helping our young ones grow up to be independent, happy, resilient, and thriving adults. I believe it’s never too late to learn behaviors that build better relationships - thank you

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