It's Not About You: A Brief Guide to a Meaningful Life

4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars | 4,125 ratings

Price: 1.99

Last update: 12-23-2024


About this item

From the author of the #1 bestseller StrengthsFinder 2.0 comes a moving memoir and inspiring call to action for bettering your own life by doing your best for others.

Life is not about you. It’s about what you do for others. That’s the realization that has driven Tom Rath—the mega-bestselling expert in self-development research—to evolve his focus from one’s inward search for strength to the larger outward search for purposeful contribution to others. It’s Not About You is a short introduction to the next chapter in the life and career of perhaps our greatest living self-help writer.

Diagnosed with a rare genetic condition at age sixteen, Tom’s awareness of his own mortality drove him to pursue a meaningful life in the nurturing care of his family, including his eventual mentor and collaborator, Tom’s grandfather Don Clifton. In this empowering hybrid of a self-help memoir, Tom remembers and celebrates his greatest teacher as he emphatically encourages each and every one of us to answer life’s great question: What can I put into the world?


Top reviews from the United States

Arlene P
5.0 out of 5 stars Captivating and thought provoking
Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2024
This book inspires readers to look outward and to contribute to making life better for others. It's when you do this that life takes on a whole new meaning of fulfillment.
Mary Child
4.0 out of 5 stars Inspirational but not totally resonant
Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2020
This is a short, easy read. The author’s story is very inspirational, and while there are certainly some nuggets of true wisdom in here, it’s not an infallible piece of writing. Humans are prosocial, and I agree with the premise that a life of purpose and service is the most likely path to bring true fulfillment, especially when compared with the hedonism so rampant in America today. Humans are literally wired to be “part of a tribe,” and I completely agree that contributing to something greater than oneself is deeply meaningful and fulfilling (for non-sociopaths). We have piles of data confirming the premise that strong social networks are essential to overall well-being.

However, always focusing outwardly- prioritizing how you can “contribute” to others and never mindfully learning to know oneself- is a recipe for mid-life resentment. Especially if you’re a woman in a patriarchal, Christian, western society.

Maybe this book is solid advice for men, who are less innately “nurturing” (biologically and hormonally speaking) and are more inclined towards physical tasks (hunting/gathering, i.e. providing), but having lived a life of dutiful devotion to the comforts and needs of others above my own (as dictated by the Christianity I was indoctrinated from infancy with), I can assure you, by the late 30’s, there is a real sense of having been exploited and taken advantage of by others who benefitted from my selfless contributions, and weren’t as quick to reciprocate.

I am still genuinely eager to help whenever I can, and I still believe that a purpose “greater than myself” is both worthwhile, deeply satisfying, and worth pursuing. But I feel MUCH happier since bringing balance into my life. Learning to say, “No.” Learning to ask for help. Indulging the desire for alone-time to read, journal, participate in endurance sports, and basically be “selfish” when the urge strikes.

Personal achievements are just as necessary for feelings of meaning, true satisfaction, and overall accomplishment, as those we make on behalf of others and society.

That was the component I felt was missing from this book.

“Get over yourself,” is just not always the right advice- every day, at all times.

But it is a great philosophy for the mindfully self-aware person who is looking for deeper meaning from the doldrums of life!
MnSav
5.0 out of 5 stars enlightening
Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2024
No one thinks of their immortality being in the people you love and teach. But it’s true, one day, we will only be what people who are still alive remember us for.
Pablo
3.0 out of 5 stars Good Read
Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2024
It is a rather short book. I think it's worth the time. I was also expecting more. Time decently spent though.
Christine Byczkiewicz
5.0 out of 5 stars Following the "Be prepared!" motto to the letter, in a very unique and insightful way
Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2020
Self-help and self-care books are becoming more popular by the minute as this review is being written. While those types of books are beneficial, additionally with many of them easy, light, and even entertaining to read, there are not enough books out there today that don’t focus solely on helping oneself. This book, while still reiterating to readers that taking care of oneself IS important, they would actually leave a LARGER impact on the world by helping others and making a positive change, no matter how small in THEIR lives, too.
What’s unique about this book is that not only does it tell readers that they DO have the ability and potential to help make a positive difference in someone else’s life, it also lets them know that their time on Earth isn’t unlimited, especially those who are diagnosed with a terminal, life-threatening condition, or at least a chronic one like Rath himself had as a teenager. As much as anyone HATES thinking about their own fates, especially when death may come sooner for them then anticipated/desired, Rath assures readers that such conditions don’t define you and that, while still able-bodied to do so, you should still leave an unselfish mark on this Earth until it IS your time to leave it for good.
@FocalFemme
5.0 out of 5 stars A quick & thoughtful read - one I'll come back to time & time again
Reviewed in the United States on April 20, 2020
Every now & then we come across a book that we know just reading once won't do the trick. I came across this title and the $0 price tag caught my attention. I figured, why not? Plus the subtitle of "A Brief Guide To a Meaningful Life" sounded right up my alley.

The book is short - I read the Kindle version and was done within 30-45 min. The author does a good job reminding his audience that the most important thing we can do in our lives is giving back to others and that we are really robbing ourselves of our own well being by focusing on self happiness. I tend to love self-help books and this was a refreshing point of view that it's not actually about me....

I definitely plan on re-reading this book periodically as I feel the need for reminders of it's lessons. I'm also taking the opportunity, as a result of this book, to write handwritten letters to the people who matter most in my life, to share with them the impact they have had on my life and who I turned out to be, before it's too late.

Thank you Tim Rath!
Her LB Artistry
4.0 out of 5 stars Great Reminder to Live Selfless
Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2024
Great reminder that life is more fulfilling when you live to serve others as opposed to just thinking of yourself.
Kct
5.0 out of 5 stars great reminder of what matters
Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2024
I stumbled on this title and felt compelled to read it. It is a quick, easy read that reminds you of what’s truly important on life’s journey.

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