I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying: A Memoir

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars | 31 ratings

Price: 17.05

Last update: 12-22-2024


About this item

From standup comedian Youngmi Mayer, an unforgettable memoir written with “raw, enviable freedom that simply floors you,” interrogating whiteness, gender, and sexuality in America, navigating a tumultuous childhood in Korea and Saipan, and coming to terms with her parents’ shortcomings (Michelle Zauner).

“Do you know what happens if you laugh while crying? Hair grows out of your butthole.”

It was a constant truism Youngmi Mayer’s mother would say threateningly after she would make her daughter laugh while crying. Her mother used it to cheer her up in moments when she could tell Youngmi was overtaken with grief. The humorous saying would never fail to lighten the mood, causing both daughter and mother to laugh and cry at the same time. Her mother had learned this trick from her mother, and her mother had learned this from her mother before her: it had also helped an endless string of her family laugh through suffering.

In I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying, Youngmi jokes through the retelling of her childhood as an offbeat biracial kid in Saipan, a place next to a place that Americans might know. She jokes through her difficult adolescence where she must parent her own parents: a mother who married her husband because he looked like white Jesus (and the singer of The Bee Gees). And with humor and irreverence and full-throated openness, she jokes even while sharing the story of what her family went through during the last century of colonialism and war in Korea, while reflecting how years later, their wounds affect her in New York City as a single mom, all the while interrogating whiteness, gender, and sexuality.

Youngmi jokes through these stories in hopes of passing onto the listener what her family passed down to her: The gift of laughing while crying. The gift of a hairy butthole. Because throughout it all, the one thing she learned was one cannot exist without the other. And like a yin and yang, this duality is reflected in this whip-smart, heart-wrenching, and disarmingly funny memoir told by a bright new voice with so much heart and wisdom.


Top reviews from the United States

  • Ken
    5.0 out of 5 stars If you’re Korean, half Korean, or know someone who is Korean, I can’t recommend this book enough.
    Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2024
    I just finished Youngmi’s book, and as a biracial Korean American with a similar background, I found her story profoundly eye-opening. There’s so much we aren’t taught about the Korean War, the Japanese occupation, and the generational trauma these events have left on our parents, relatives, and ancestors.

    Youngmi’s memoir had me laughing, crying, and sharing her story with my closest friends and family. It’s a book that *needed* to be written, and I’m deeply grateful she was vulnerable enough to share her journey and experiences with the world.

    The book’s modern storytelling style is refreshing, with moments where Youngmi pauses to laugh at how cliché something might sound—only adding to the charm of her personality.

    If you’re Korean, half Korean, or know someone who is Korean, I can’t recommend this book enough. It will make you laugh, cry, and feel inspired to find the same courage Youngmi had to forge her own path in life.
    Customer image
    Ken
    5.0 out of 5 stars If you’re Korean, half Korean, or know someone who is Korean, I can’t recommend this book enough.
    Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2024
    I just finished Youngmi’s book, and as a biracial Korean American with a similar background, I found her story profoundly eye-opening. There’s so much we aren’t taught about the Korean War, the Japanese occupation, and the generational trauma these events have left on our parents, relatives, and ancestors.

    Youngmi’s memoir had me laughing, crying, and sharing her story with my closest friends and family. It’s a book that *needed* to be written, and I’m deeply grateful she was vulnerable enough to share her journey and experiences with the world.

    The book’s modern storytelling style is refreshing, with moments where Youngmi pauses to laugh at how cliché something might sound—only adding to the charm of her personality.

    If you’re Korean, half Korean, or know someone who is Korean, I can’t recommend this book enough. It will make you laugh, cry, and feel inspired to find the same courage Youngmi had to forge her own path in life.
    Images in this review
    Customer image
  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars great book beautiful insight
    Reviewed in the United States on December 8, 2024
    What a nice fun read youngmi really brought her life alive in this book. Her point of view on Korean folklore and history are so interesting
  • josi luis gonzalez castro
    5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats
    Reviewed in the United States on November 25, 2024
    Brilliant, searing prose, jokes and philosophy, marriage, divorce, largesse and poverty, this book has everything. Thank you Youngmi for sharing your story with us with such style
  • AJ
    5.0 out of 5 stars Your Truth will Set You Free
    Reviewed in the United States on December 14, 2024
    I just finished reading this memoir, and I closed the book feeling deeply proud The author’s authentic voice is witty and thoughtful. The courage the author had to speak so candidly about her story was so refreshing. Her journey inspired me to continue my own, embracing the equally painful and liberating process of retelling my story as honestly as I experienced it. Until today, I hadn't recognized this as an act of self-love. I’m thankful for that insight.
  • vhughes17
    5.0 out of 5 stars If you like comedy + good writing READ THIS
    Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2024
    It’s not a guarantee that comedians’ wit translates to paper, but Youngmi’s definitely does. I keep catch myself cackling, just as I do to her tweets and TikTok’s, and I’m even more surprised at how impactful and powerful this book has managed to be also be. For a debut, this book surpasses expectations. For any book, this book is worth picking up.
  • Susan Dawson
    1.0 out of 5 stars did not enjoy it
    Reviewed in the United States on November 26, 2024
    I did not enjoy this book.
  • JHG
    5.0 out of 5 stars A hauntingly accurate view of what it means to be Korean
    Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2024
    At times, I gasped because she managed to put down in words the unspeakable, at times insidiously subtle, but mostly blunt force trauma of what a Korean upbringing will imprint onto us as adults. Mostly I cackled out loud, and was not expecting this book to hit me as hard as it did.
    PS—Worth noting that the lone 1 star review here was left by someone who gave Elon Musk’s book 5 stars, ????
  • janet
    5.0 out of 5 stars You will indeed laugh bc you're crying.
    Reviewed in the United States on November 20, 2024
    Wow. Finished this book in one night bc I could not put it down. Yongmi brilliantly shares her life story , traumas , lessons , and profound perspectives all while making us laugh .
    A poignant memoir for EVERYONE , but refreshing to hear a unique korean american voice . She has lived a very FULL and fascinating life and I'm Thankful she has shared this loving masterpiece w the universe. Because "to live is to laugh and cry ... to love is make people laugh and cry" This is a MUST READ and I hope she writes more books !

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