What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars | 4,251 ratings

Price: 15.75

Last update: 07-26-2024


Top reviews from the United States

Elizabeth L
5.0 out of 5 stars Brave, insightful and inspiring
Reviewed in the United States on May 10, 2024
I read Stephanie Foo's memoir obsessively over a 36-hour period after hearing her interviewed on a podcast. It is the best memoir and one of the best non-fiction works I have read.

Foo walks the reader through her painful and brave journey of suffering and healing and shows what it is like to learn a new way of being in the world, how to be kind to yourself, and how to be in relationship with other people without leaving a path of destruction. We need more people in this world like her. The inner work that she has done matters so much more than the superficial striving that we like to celebrate.

We also need to redefine resilience and success in terms of internal well-being and stop using professional achievement as a proxy for wholeness.

She nails this: "When scientists and psychologists provide case studies of resilient individuals, they do not showcase a housekeeper who has overcome personal tragedy and now has impressive talents at self - regulation. They write about individuals who survived and became doctors, teachers, therapists , motivational speakers —sparkly members of society. Resilience, according to the establishment, is not a degree of some indeterminable measure of inner peace. Resilience is instead synonymous with success."

What she describes is the ultimate manifestation of materialism. Outward success and inner wholeness are not even related. Foo is absolutely right that mental health isn't always sparkly, and her insight explains why there are so many deeply toxic and unhealed people in high places. This is why so many narcissistic jerks end up on "top."

I hope the people at This American Life either fired her a-hole boss or put him through some kind of long-term rehab to learn to be decent. What are the chances, though?

Foo's point about immigrant trauma being the legacy of our country's colonial exploits was so important. This stuff doesn't just happen.

Wonderful, wonderful book.
AS
5.0 out of 5 stars moving and courageous
Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2024
An excellent book in so many ways. Foo’s writing is superb, creative, and descriptive. As a psychologist and avid reader of non-fiction takes on mental health, I celebrate Foo’s ability to put words to healing, not just to abuse and tragedy. That to me is what sets this book apart- her ability to actually describe what happens in therapy and capture the relentless pursuit of a client trying thing after thing to heal. It’s a true work of art.
LB
4.0 out of 5 stars Good read about cPTSD but not a good review of therapies
Reviewed in the United States on March 26, 2023
I am a therapist specializing in cPTSD. There are many well-written aspects of this book and it is well-researched. However, as a psychotherapist specializing in PTSD and cPTSD, I have a few issues:

1. Just because someone has a PhD does not make them a good therapist. It’s not about book smarts or education. It’s about how one can connect to and work with the relational aspects of trauma. These comments about MA vs PhD pissed me off. I am not a PhD, mostly because I have an education background in biochemistry and neuroscience (undergraduate degrees), having worked in biotechnology for 15 years. I don’t need a PhD to have knowledge and skill to address relational trauma.
2. I am a certified EMDR therapist, trained in 2001. I have been using EMDR therapy in my practice for over 20 years with consistently effective results in addressing cPTSD. I also have a cohort of excellent somatically-based colleagues who also effectively treat cPTSD, most of us lowly MA or MS-level LPC’s or LCSW’s (not PhD’s). Not all EMDR therapists are created (or trained) equally. Check out Dr. Arielle Schwartz, a friend and exceptionally skilled colleague. Yes, a PhD but that’s not what makes her exceptional. Check out her books and videos.
3. I am also trained in IFS. “Mr. Sweater Vest” is not representative of IFS, as presented in this book. At all, sadly. “The Hulk” as presented here is a “part” that served as a protector. Too bad it apparently wasn’t addressed. And no mention of Self energy?

There are many poignant aspects of this well-written book. I have compassion and appreciation for the author and her courage to heal. However, I am frustrated by her cynicism and negativity, painting a slanted portrayal of effective approaches to healing cPTSD.
MetroplexMom
5.0 out of 5 stars Raw and honest memoir
Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2024
This is an incredible book - absolutely one of the best I’ve read in a long time. Foo writes in such a way that she is SO relatable and her memoir of working through her C-PTSD was helpful to me as I’m working through my own brain and trauma.
Rose
5.0 out of 5 stars An important book
Reviewed in the United States on June 12, 2024
We need more books about CPTSD and even more, about healing from it. I appreciated how nuanced the book was, how honest it was, how well it expressed the layers and layers of suffering and the skewed identity formation that happens when abuse is perpetuated consistently over time, the very real obstacles to healing, and the grace of healing. I also appreciated the "immigrant aspect," since so few people reference that part of the traumatic epigentic inheritance.
Katelyn
5.0 out of 5 stars Important and Incredible Intimate Read
Reviewed in the United States on June 6, 2024
Beautifully written, honestly shared, and riddled with facts and research, this is a must for anyone who has experience trauma or loves someone who has. This is a book whose contents have followed me in my life and it will stay with me for years to come.
Marianne Coletta
5.0 out of 5 stars RELATABLE!!!
Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2024
My therapist has always referred to my PTSD as “complex” but it never occurred to me that “C-PTSD” is an actual thing and much different than PTSD. This book has put into words the thoughts and feelings I’ve carried around for over 40 years. It’s very validating and especially relatable. I would recommend this book to EVERYONE that has either experienced first hand, loved someone, or worked closely with people diagnosed with C-PTSD. Stephanie Foo has given me a better appreciation for my struggles. As a bonus, she’s also educated me on what it must be like to emigrate from Asia to America and adapt to a constant barrage of racism and stereotyping. This book is BRILLIANT!
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Marianne Coletta
5.0 out of 5 stars RELATABLE!!!
Reviewed in the United States on April 10, 2024
My therapist has always referred to my PTSD as “complex” but it never occurred to me that “C-PTSD” is an actual thing and much different than PTSD. This book has put into words the thoughts and feelings I’ve carried around for over 40 years. It’s very validating and especially relatable. I would recommend this book to EVERYONE that has either experienced first hand, loved someone, or worked closely with people diagnosed with C-PTSD. Stephanie Foo has given me a better appreciation for my struggles. As a bonus, she’s also educated me on what it must be like to emigrate from Asia to America and adapt to a constant barrage of racism and stereotyping. This book is BRILLIANT!
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