Find Your People: Building Deep Community in a Lonely World

4.6 | 3,458 ratings

Price: 13.78

Last update: 09-30-2024

About this item

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER WINNER OF THE ECPA BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD The author of Get Out of Your Head offers practical solutions for creating true community, the kind that’s crucial to our mental and spiritual health.

“My dear friend Jennie Allen shows us how to make true emotional connections with the right people so that our authentic relationships can be healthy for all.”—Lysa TerKeurst, author of It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way

In a world that’s both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we’re often tempted to do life alone, whether because we’re so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being. We are meant to live known and loved. But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we’re experiencing an epidemic of loneliness.

In Find Your People, bestselling author Jennie Allen draws on fascinating insights from science and history, timeless biblical truth, and vulnerable stories from her own life to help you:

overcome the barriers to making new friends and learn to initiate with easy-to-follow steps

find simple ways to press through awkward to get to authentic in conversations

understand how conflict can strengthen relationships rather than destroy them

identify the type of friend you are and the types of friends you need

learn the five practical ingredients you need to have the type of friends you’ve always longed for

You were created to play, engage, adventure, and explore—with others. In Find Your People, you’ll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community. Because while the ache of loneliness is real, it doesn’t have to be your reality.

Sharon

If you feel lonely or want to make your friendships deeper-you should get this book!

Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2024

I am in a book club with this book and it has been really impactful. It is amazing to learn how many people in the US feel lonely, even if they have friends.
The author has amazing insights into friendship and ways to create new relationships and find "your people" that you can get real and deep with and can depend on.
You won't be disappointed in this book. She even gives practicals and scripts you can use if you are shy or nervous!

Brittany

So good

Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2024

I’m not much of a reader but I bought this book because I love Jennie Allen and it was so helpful and good!! She has a way with words.

Great read

Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2024

Encouraging

Kayla McCathern

Outstanding!

Reviewed in the United States on September 3, 2024

Jennie has truly outdone herself with this book. A practical, biblical guide to creating lasting relationships.

Samantha Barnes

Practical, Honest, and Encouraging

Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2022

I was honestly a little surprised by how much I liked this book. I am a fan of Jennie Allen, but I think speaking is really where she shines. Then, as a topic, Christian friendship can be written about in some very surface-y ways, and even some abstract ways that make it hard to really know what to take away. This book was thankfully NOT another example of a Christian taking friendships in the Bible (David and Jonathan, Paul and Barnabas) and trying to teach us lessons from the few verses we have about those relationships.

Instead, Jennie wrote very practically, very humbly, and very authentically about friendships in her own life. She pulled in some research about the ways our Western, individualized culture strays from the concept of village and community life. Her outline and five concepts are easy to follow, and you can tell she has lived them (and gotten them both right and wrong). The end of each chapter had great action steps that challenged me to think more deeply and pray through relationships in my own life.

J.W.

You need this message and these tools more than you realize.

Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2022

“From the moment you were born until you take your last breath, deep, authentic connection is the thing your soul most craves.”

Many people who pick up this book will do so hesitantly. You may not think you need community, or maybe you no longer believe that deep and lasting friendship is really out there for you. Many of us will question if it is worth the effort, especially if we’ve been hurt before, and who among us hasn’t? But the vibrant picture Jennie paints of the life we’re meant to live together is so compelling, you can’t unsee it. You’ve simply got to get a hold of it.

Despite the cheerful looking book cover and the relentlessly hopeful message, the book does not make light of the deep hurts many of us have experienced, but it makes a convincing argument that bravely pursuing healthy community is totally worth it. Is it a risk? Absolutely. We are going to fumble at friendship, and we are going to get hurt. But it definitely beats retreating into isolation, Jennie promises us, because while we may feel safe and comfortable being alone, we also feel undeniably sad. We were made to know and be known, and we need each other desperately. We are all growing physically sick from loneliness.

This book will not make you feel self-conscious about your social shortcomings. Rather, it’ll let you breathe a sigh of relief that you’re not the only one, not by a long shot. Jennie’s vulnerability in sharing her own experiences with rejection and other relationship struggles reassures her readers that we are not alone in our loneliness, our awkwardness, our anxiety, our failures or our longings but that, actually, we’re all in this together. And there’s hope. Jennie shares how she fought back against the lies she was believing and the isolation she was experiencing. She and her family fought hard for the kind of community God intended for us to have, and she lays out an invaluable roadmap for how we can get there, too. There are actual diagrams in these pages explaining how we can think about and build our communities. There is science, there’s a numbered plan for handling conflict, there are Q&As, and there are honest quotes from real people. You’ll find practical ideas for turning acquaintances into friends, and plenty of real life stories to encourage you.

This book is honest about the fact that in order to step into the connected life our hearts tell us we were made for, we will need to change how we live, but Jennie comes alongside to show us how. Find Your People will convince you that a life full to the brim with deep and healthy relationships is possible for every one of us, and it will give you the insight and tools you need to step bravely into this life you were made to live with others. You won’t be the same person you were when you picked up the book. You’ll have found your people.

Alice Walker

Fast delivery

Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2024

Book arrived on time & in great shape!

Jessica Moore

Get to the heart of the matter

Reviewed in the United States on July 28, 2024

Jennie digs deep in this book, getting to the heart of what we really desire in life. Be prepared to be challenged in ways you probably never have been before. If you find yourself lonely or longing for someone to know the real you, this book will help you through the process of finding your own inner circle of friends.

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