This marriage book doesn't bash either side. Women and men have different needs. According to Dr. Eggerichs, they hear vocal and body language differently. Understanding the difference is the secret behind better communication and "Love & Respect" given one to another. It is sound, down-to-earth information that truly is a NEW perspective. Even men will listen. But this book may work if only one spouse reads and applies what is found.
Past marriage suggestions typically push the man to changing his nature and becoming more feminine in response to his love seeking wife. This author points out that God didn't make man feminine, so why should he change? He does offer many suggestions as to how to understand what a wife is searching for and how best to communicate to her needs and feelings. The opposite is true for women. God didn't make women to have more body than mind need, as men. Why try to make one turn into the other? The answer, according to "Love & Respect" is the husband learning to see the woman's need for love needs, and for the wife noting the man's needs and different ways of coping.
Thus, mutual understanding is as important as mutual communication. But...communication must be in a form recognized by the spouse. This need-meeting takes into consideration not only Biblical principals, but new scientific brain function evidence. They seem to go hand in hand.
This is not simply a Christian approach, although Dr. Eggerichs pulls no punches about his own beliefs and pulls scripture to back many statements. Also the book is endorsed and supported by Dr. Dobson and "Focus on the Family."
Having remarried after becoming a widower, I have duel opportunity to look at the legitimacy of what is written. This is solid marriage relationship instruction. Highly recommended, at any age.
A PERFECT WEDDING GIFT FOR THE NEW BRIDE & GROOM, any faith.
My wife and I love the large print, due to aging eyes, but it also makes the book pages turn faster.
Part One: THE CRAZY CYCLE defines the problem of communication between man and female in a new light. No blame, just different.
Part Two: THE ENERGIZING CYCLE is the meat. It takes you thorough the female needs of Closeness,Openness,Understanding,Peacemaking,Loyalty,Esteem. Then it looks at the male's needs of Conquest,Hierarchy,Authority,Insight,Relationship,Sexuality.
"Not wrong, just different." Part 2 may be all you need to read.
Part Three: THE REWARDED CYCLE concludes the pink and blue differences and opportunity to improve any marriage, even those not in danger. Includes a generous appendix of things to do together to help your love and respect grow.
Also recommended is a set of DVDs with this author presenting the material of this book. Good for groups or couples. Not pricey when you consider the excellent results. The author is quite a humerus, entertaining presenter.
A MUST for church, family counselor, and public library shelves.
jennifer m eckhart
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