Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars | 951 ratings

Price: 15.75

Last update: 11-09-2024


About this item

An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that's obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.

What exactly is sexual attraction, and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the "A" of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.

Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that "not wanting sex" was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything "right", only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don't want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen's careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.


Top reviews from the United States

Gabriella Grange
5.0 out of 5 stars Really great book
Reviewed in the United States on October 22, 2024
I heard about this book from a friend and honestly reading it has helped me feel more comfortable in my identity as an asexual person. I never really started thinking about my sexual orientation until college and I have looked on the Internet for resources but still had trouble accepting who I was. It was also great to read a book by a fellow ace person of color, who addresses the intersection amity of race and asexuality. I'm glad I read this during Asexual Awareness Week (October 20-26) Thank you so much Angela Chen for this book. I feel less alone.
janedoegrayson
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read.
Reviewed in the United States on August 7, 2022
Personally despite this book having terms I do not like hearing or concepts I find hard to understand…

This book I feel should be a book that every person reads at some point perhaps once they are sexually active. I think the discussions this book brings up are discussions a lot of people with either high or low sex drives need to read… whether it’s to understand oneself or others.

I do believe sex is glorified too much. This book made me realize that just because I enjoy certain things doesn’t mean I am not in the Ace spectrum, and it also doesn’t mean that I am. It’s a book that allows you to think of yourself and what things mean to you. As one may not stop to think… is sex for me, and if it is why do I enjoy it? Is my definition of “wanting sex” the same as others?

Good book… highly recommended.
A. Sterling
4.0 out of 5 stars Must Read Book on Asexuality
Reviewed in the United States on August 17, 2021
Very good book, quality, a must read for sure, especially because there are not many books on Aces out there. That being said, I wasn't really what I was expecting and I was a little bit disappointed with the narrow perspective. If you come from an upperclass, liberal background, there's no problem. If you don't, as I don't, you might struggle to relate with the book in points where you wished you would. That being said, it offers a very important and much needed perspective, I was just hoping to see a bit more of my culture and my experience of being ace than I did. The book does everything it claims to do though. We just need more people from different backgrounds to write books like this. Also, it did feel much more like a book written for non-aces explaining and justifying asexuality by an ace person than it was a book written for aces.
Dawn
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read
Reviewed in the United States on June 28, 2024
A really good book. Asexuality is explained really well and topics of race and disability and that intersectionality are discussed within too. How societal “norms” make it sometimes harder to accept the Ace label even if it fits—whether that is because of validating stereotypes or wanting to push against them. There’s even one person that was interviewed who talks about being Ace within their religion and figuring that out. A good read for aces and allos alike since it dives into societal expectations and definitions and how that shows in relationships.
Andrea
5.0 out of 5 stars The Ace Bible
Reviewed in the United States on October 27, 2024
If you want to know about Asexuality, this is the book. Period. 5/5 stars.
Laura
5.0 out of 5 stars Who am I really?
Reviewed in the United States on August 15, 2024
This book made me question my view of sexuality in a way I never had before. That I can be asexual and not adverse to sex. It offered a rare perspective from other ace people that isn't often heard in our society. If you're ace and you read this, you know you're not alone.
JD
5.0 out of 5 stars Meticulously researched, totally honest & deeply illuminating!!!!!
Reviewed in the United States on September 26, 2020
I’m not an Amazon “pseudo-critic”, an academic, or a mental healthcare provider. I’m just a middle-aged straight lady who haltingly identifies as being on the “asexual spectrum”. It has made me crazy for YEARS. If you’re like me and have longed for clear-cut information and deftly-related stories about what it’s like to realize that you might be “ace”, THIS IS THE BOOK FOR YOU. There’s a great deal of bizarre and misleading info about asexuality out there in the world, both on and offline. Trying to identify asexual characteristics and behaviors within oneself can be absolutely maddening, because it’s such a misunderstood orientation. Ms. Chen writes from her personal perspective relating to her own struggles and questions about asexuality. This book answers a lot of questions for those of us who are coming to identify themselves as ace, such as: what about romance/love? what about sex? what do I tell my husband/wife/partner? am I some kind of broken weirdo? And the most agonizing question for folks like me: why does the entire world revolve around sexual intercourse?! Chen has bravely written from the asexual point of view, so this book gives the ace folks and non-asexuals something to chew on. My experience reading this book was one of gasping recognition, on just about every page. There were stories about every type of person/personality/orientation who might identify as asexual: straight, gay, trans, they/them, vanilla, Christian, etc. This book helped me to understand that asexuality is NOT a “disease” and I’m not disables, weird, or incomplete without sex. I don’t need to be medicated. I’m so immeasurably grateful to Ms. Chen for writing this book. It’s going to help a LOT of people understand and learn not be frightened by asexuality, either in themselves or their loved ones.
Arizona Cats
4.0 out of 5 stars One quibble w/libido
Reviewed in the United States on March 4, 2022
About half through & have a problem with issue raised about how med/pharma attempts to raise libido to attempt to "cure" aces without making clear in that chapter that libido cannot cure ace anyway / waist of time for pharmacy companies. I am ace with libido, doubling my libido will not point that libido at someone else (create sexual attraction) & make me not ace. Issue of libido being present for some aces was mentioned earlier in book, but became confusing as med trope to "cure" aces in later chapter. Will finish this otherwise well researched book, but tinged with this confusion. Libido & aesthetic attraction were my biggest confusions to understanding my asexuality. The med establishment trope of libido = sexual attraction stood out glaringly in the one chapter even if unintentional.

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