The Harder I Fight the More I Love You: A Memoir

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars | 9 ratings

Price: 19.49

Last update: 02-02-2025


About this item

From a beloved Grammy-nominated musician, a "heartbreaking and funny" memoir of a poverty-stricken childhood, obsessive desires, and indispensable friendships that reflects on the way art and music and a deep connection to nature guided her journey towards stardom (Maggie Smith, NYT bestselling author of You Could Make This Place Beautiful).

Neko Case has long been revered as one of music’s most influential artists, whose authenticity, lyrical storytelling, and sly wit have endeared her to a legion of critics, musicians, and lifelong fans. In THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU, Case brings her trademark candor and precision to a memoir that traces her evolution from an invisible girl “raised by two dogs and a space heater” in rural Washington state to her improbable emergence as an internationally acclaimed talent.

In luminous, sharp-edged prose, Case shows listeners what it’s like to be left alone for hours and hours as a child, to take refuge in the woods around her home, and to channel the monotony and loneliness and joy that comes from music, camaraderie, and shared experience into art.

THE HARDER I FIGHT THE MORE I LOVE YOU is a rebellious meditation on identity and corruption, and a manifesto on how to make space for ourselves in this world, despite the obstacles we face.


Top reviews from the United States

  • davidjordan84
    5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
    Reviewed in the United States on January 28, 2025
    As a fan of Neko Case and her music, I was enthusiastic to read this memoir and discover whether her impressive songwriting talent translated to the printed page of her first book in the story of her life. It does, indeed. Having no familiarity with the elements of her biography, this was a particularly enlightening and moving account of a child raised in relative poverty and neglect who learns to develop her considerable artistic gifts in spite of a host of traumatic events, painful experiences, and difficult situations. Thankfully, though, her recounting of the challenges and privations of growing up poor in the Pacific Northwest don't overwhelm the reader, thanks to her frequent inclusion of moments of great beauty, tenderness, and humor. The author and I are nearly the same age, which contributed to my particular enjoyment of her story of growing up immersed in many of the same elements of pop culture that captured my own attention. I also consider myself a devoted music lover of above average intensity, but it was a revelation to read the account of someone with an absolute obsession with music in every possible way. The author's description of constant immersion in recorded music for hours at a time on a daily basis certainly resonated with my own experience. I especially appreciated her reported use of an "imitation Walkman" as her preferred delivery mechanism for her listening habit, as I remember doing the same. (I also was incapable of affording the genuine article back in the day!) Her obsession with attending live music performances in her formative years eclipsed even my own, and I was particularly excited to read the names of the dozens of bands that she enjoyed in concert. If someone were to curate a playlist of all the bands the author name-checks in this volume, that would be one incredible listening experience. Neko Case is a talented and creative multi-disciplinary artist, and her skill is just as formidable in this book as in any other medium she has attempted. I was enthralled the entire way through, and found myself frequently and repeatedly thinking, "OK: just one more chapter and I'll put it down and get some sleep." Very rarely was I able to do that.
    I loved this book and I highly recommend it, even for readers who have not yet had the opportunity to enjoy the author's music.

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