The Sound of Gravel: A Memoir

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars | 9,730 ratings

Price: 14.99

Last update: 02-04-2025


About this item

"The narration by Wariner compliments the candid nature of her story...A captivating and emotional story delivered in a straightforward way without an ounce of self-pity." (Library Journal)

A riveting, deeply-affecting audiobook memoir of one girl's coming-of-age experiences in a polygamist cult.

Ruth Wariner was the 39th of her father's 42 children. Growing up on a farm in rural Mexico, where authorities turned a blind eye to the practices of her community, Ruth lives in a ramshackle house without indoor plumbing or electricity. At church, preachers teach that God will punish the wicked by destroying the world and that women can only ascend to Heaven by entering into polygamous marriages and giving birth to as many children as possible. After Ruth's father - the man who had been the founding prophet of the colony - is brutally murdered by his brother in a bid for church power, her mother remarries, becoming the second wife of another faithful congregant.

In need of government assistance and supplemental income, Ruth and her siblings are carted back and forth between Mexico and the United States, where her mother collects welfare and her step-father works a variety of odd jobs. Ruth comes to love the time she spends in the States, realizing that perhaps the community into which she was born is not the right one for her. As Ruth begins to doubt her family's beliefs and question her mother's choices, she struggles to balance her fierce love for her siblings with her determination to forge a better life for herself.

Recounted from the innocent and hopeful perspective of a child, The Sound of Gravel is the remarkable true story of a girl fighting for peace and love. This is an intimate, gripping audiobook resonant with triumph, courage, and resilience.


Top reviews from the United States

  • Catherine
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
    Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2024
    Loved the book and finished it in two days. Quite a long list of characters so I ended up having to write notes to myself to keep everyone straight. Very very detailed descriptions all the way through, as though the author was instructed to include the smells, and the sounds into every single scene. And the smells and sounds for the next scene, then the smells and sounds for the next scene. I did love the authors humility and determination. After noticing the family photo included in the book was missing some characters, I went online to learn about each of them. The author has incredible strength and has gone through many ups and downs in life. I was horrified on some pages and found other pages very heart warming. This has been one of the better written "escaped-from-a-cult" books out there. Definitely recommend.
  • Mary Ward
    4.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating look at growing up in polygamy
    Reviewed in the United States on September 9, 2018
    I am fascinated by polygamy. I have read many books about it and by people who have escaped it. This is really a terrific book on the subject.

    Ruth was raised in Mexico in a group that was founded by her prophet father. He died when she was a baby. Her mother remarried another man from the family named Lane. He was not a good guy, to put it simply. Her family lived pretty much in poverty. They would cross the border to collect food stamps for her family. Her mother having to pretend she did not know who the father was of her children. Their education was pretty lax. They spent a few years in some other cities , even living with her grandparents when her mother left Lane for a while. I was so happy for them during that period and then Lane shows up again. But there was also some sexual abuse by Lane on Ruth and other kids in the compound. Her mother espoused forgiveness. This I had a hard time with. I am not sure if her mother’s tears were for what happened to Ruth or her fear of not having her husband anymore. Or were they because she believed so deeply in her faith? That left me very emotional.

    The writing is wonderful. I honestly felt like I could taste the dust of the desert and smell the mice droppings that littered their home in Mexico. You could feel the cold in your bones as the wind blew through the thin walls.

    For so much sadness, Ms. Wariner seems to have come out stronger and a lot more forgiving than I might be. If you are as absorbed in polygamy as I am, you definitely must pick up this book. If you are looking for a good memoir, you definitely must pick up this book.
  • NotSherry
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing and eye opening
    Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2025
    I was so shocked to find this all occurred during the 70s and 80s. I think we all are blind to these "religious cults" that are nothing more than a venue for child abuse, rape, incest, and human trafficking. More needs to be done.
    For Ruth to grow up and go through all the things she's gone through and still care for her siblings and have a normal life is a testament to her strength and resolve. I feel like she could be one of my friends. So real and open.

    This book is one of my favorite reads.
  • Cate
    5.0 out of 5 stars Clear your calendar. You'll want to finish this in one sitting.
    Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2016
    (NOTE: Review based on Advance Reader's Copy) Ruth's memoir of growing up in a polygamist community and her eventual escape from it is one of those books you will not be able to put down until you finish.

    The truth is, as part of team who read ARC's I saw other readers talk about how they stayed up late to finish or read it all in one day and I thought it must be hyperbole. Then I got the book myself, started it, and promptly text my boss that I was going to need the next day off so I could finish it (she didn't agree).

    Ruth is a baby when her father is murdered and her mom remarries Lane, a man who neglects and abuses his families. Ruth's family lives in an unfinished home that she describes as smelling like mouse droppings, having no indoor bathroom, or electricity. In this home, her mother raises her children - there are eventually 10 children, three with special needs - with minimal support from her husband, welfare that she crosses the border from Mexico to the US to get, and her own willpower.

    Her mom is a true believer in the polygamist life and the rules/theology of their particular community. In this, she is both sympathetic and infuriating. I found myself wanting to shake her and "make" her protect her children and stand up for herself.

    Ruth's story is rough - there is neglect and abuse, loss and fear. She writes with great love and compassion about her siblings, mom, and grandparents. Even when her mother fails her repeatedly, Ruth acknowledges the failure without bitterness or trying to reason away her mom's action or inaction. She had done a wonderful job with her family's story; this book is well worth your time.

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