
The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired
4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars | 1,275 ratings
Price: 13.78
Last update: 02-25-2025
About this item
Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now, the best-selling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood.
"There is parenting magic in this book." (Michael Thompson, PhD, co-author of the New York Times best-selling classic Raising Cain)
One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out - in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships - is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as best-selling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S's:
- Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.
- Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions - both positive and negative - and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior.
- Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.
- Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up - when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!
Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations - when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this audiobook is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.
This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF of the Refrigerator Sheet, a summary of the Four S’s to remember in forming secure attachments.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
Top reviews from the United States

5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book

5.0 out of 5 stars Brain, Emotion, and Behavior Connection
Showing up means providing four key but necessary conditions the children in order for their brains to remain calm and attached to the care giver: Safety so the child can feel confident in taking risks. Seen so there’s an understanding of the emotion. Soothing iso the child can cope with your steady support. Security so the child is assured they she can count on you consistently.
This book is invaluable for any parent or professional who works with trauma informed children. Understanding the connection between the brain, emotions and behaviors will help you to better understand and support the child.

5.0 out of 5 stars If you want to be closer to your adult kids, read this!
If you have children and/or grandchildren, if you work with children, or if you just want help in making sense of your own childhood (and how it impacts your life today), read this book!

5.0 out of 5 stars Like New

4.0 out of 5 stars Solid mental model for emotionally supporting your kids

5.0 out of 5 stars Really important

5.0 out of 5 stars Every parent should read this book!
It is easy to read.
