When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars | 10,484 ratings

Price: 14.08

Last update: 01-10-2025


About this item

How can we live our lives when everything seems to fall apart—when we are continually overcome by fear, anxiety, and pain? The answer, Pema Chödrön suggests, might be just the opposite of what you expect. Here, in her most beloved and acclaimed work, Pema shows that moving toward painful situations and becoming intimate with them can open up our hearts in ways we never before imagined. Drawing from traditional Buddhist wisdom, she offers life-changing tools for transforming suffering and negative patterns into habitual ease and boundless joy.


Top reviews from the United States

Jill Ingenito
5.0 out of 5 stars this book has provided me so much comfort at different times in my adult life
Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2024
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When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön is a profound and deeply comforting book that offers timeless wisdom for navigating life’s most challenging moments. Whether you’re dealing with personal loss, emotional turmoil, or existential uncertainty, Chödrön’s gentle guidance helps you find peace and clarity amid the chaos.

What I Loved:

• Compassionate Wisdom: Chödrön writes with an incredible sense of compassion and understanding. Her insights are drawn from Buddhist teachings, but they’re presented in a way that’s accessible to anyone, regardless of their spiritual background. The book feels like a warm, comforting presence that reassures you it’s okay to feel vulnerable and lost.
• Embracing Uncertainty: One of the central themes of the book is the idea of embracing uncertainty and impermanence. Chödrön teaches that it’s precisely in our moments of discomfort and fear that we can grow the most. This perspective shift is incredibly empowering and can help you face life’s difficulties with more resilience and grace.
• Practical Advice: Beyond the philosophical and spiritual insights, the book offers practical advice for dealing with difficult emotions like fear, anger, and sadness. Chödrön encourages readers to stay present with their feelings, rather than running away from them, which can lead to deeper healing and understanding.
• Meditative Quality: The writing itself has a meditative quality, with short chapters that you can read slowly and reflect on. It’s the kind of book you can pick up and put down as needed, making it a perfect companion for tough times.
• Universal Relevance: Although rooted in Buddhist philosophy, the themes of the book are universal. Chödrön’s teachings about love, compassion, and acceptance are relevant to anyone going through a difficult time, regardless of their beliefs.
Kyndal
5.0 out of 5 stars Favorite book of all time.
Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2024
This is a staple in my library. I send it to anyone who is in a low point in their life and, across the board, it resonates with everyone. It describing getting out of living in a comfortable misery and writing the next chapter in your life.
I cannot recommend this book enough.????
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant
Reviewed in the United States on September 22, 2024
I loved this book and Pema is an extraordinary human.
Mark Bray
4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful and insightful but at times frustrating
Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2012
This book is filled with insights on how to get beyond that incessantly babbling parrot we call the conscious mind, to stop clinging to our life stories, what Eckhart Tolle might call the content of the mind, and to connect with our real self. In doing so we connect with, well, everything.

The frustrating part of this read for me, though, is that Pema often uses a unique vocabulary to describe the ideas she wants to get across, and to me it's not always clear what she means. It's not that she's using esoteric Buddhist terminology--I'm thinking that it's either just the way she expresses herself, or maybe the followers of Trungpa Rinpoche share a common vocabulary through prolonged contact with him and each other. I'm reminded of Darwin's finches, evolving separately from their kin in isolation in the Galapagos.

In any event, there were a number of times when I wasn't sure I got her meaning. I read each troublesome passage a few times and made my best interpretation, but I really can't be sure what I understood is what she meant. My personal feeling is that she'd reach more people if her language was a little more generic, for lack of a better word, or if she defined some terms. It's not that she should "dumb down" her explanations--not at all. I just think at times she could have done a little better job of writing to her audience. And to be fair, at times her writing is very clear and compelling--no easy task considering she's tackling a subject that, at its core, goes beyond words.

All of that said, this is still definitely a worthwhile read. It's not just about any one concept or method, it's a comprehensive set of practices to free yourself from attachment to the false, surface layer, ego driven self in order to reach the real you--the you who can experience true joy that's not contingent upon your situation, not contingent upon money, status, getting what you want or finding that "special someone".

I also liked how she makes it clear that none of these practices will make pain, fear or the ordinary troubles/emotions of life go away. What they will do is allow one to feel all of life fully without becoming attached. How often do we add to our misery by living in the past, replaying it over and over again, embellishing, adding commentary--letting the small snowball roll down the hill until it's big as a house?

I've read a number of other books that cover roughly the same territory, each with its own slant and style. I'm glad to have found this book because, despite the occasional difficulties ciphering her meaning, I really feel it has a great deal to offer and has moved me forward in my personal journey.
TwoPac
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book
Reviewed in the United States on July 11, 2024
I enjoyed this book. Good info and I’d read again. Thanks.
Dee
5.0 out of 5 stars Love This Book
Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2024
Easy to understand and do helpful with wonderful easy ideas to improve anxiety and get a handle on what’s really important in life. A must read for spiritual growth and awareness in creating a better life.
NM
5.0 out of 5 stars An amazing book
Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2024
I have finally realized that most Buddhist teachers write different books for students of Buddhism at different levels. This book, I feel, is written for someone like me - an intermediate student - no longer a beginner, but definitely not advanced.
Pema Chodron is an amazing teacher - very down to earth and yet very knowledgeable and intelligent about Buddhism, both its Asian roots and how it can be integrated into our contemporary Western culture.

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