When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars | 10,637 ratings

Price: 14.08

Last update: 04-02-2025


About this item

How can we live our lives when everything seems to fall apart—when we are continually overcome by fear, anxiety, and pain? The answer, Pema Chödrön suggests, might be just the opposite of what you expect. Here, in her most beloved and acclaimed work, Pema shows that moving toward painful situations and becoming intimate with them can open up our hearts in ways we never before imagined. Drawing from traditional Buddhist wisdom, she offers life-changing tools for transforming suffering and negative patterns into habitual ease and boundless joy.


Top reviews from the United States

  • Jill Ingenito
    5.0 out of 5 stars this book has provided me so much comfort at different times in my adult life
    Reviewed in the United States on August 31, 2024
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    When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön is a profound and deeply comforting book that offers timeless wisdom for navigating life’s most challenging moments. Whether you’re dealing with personal loss, emotional turmoil, or existential uncertainty, Chödrön’s gentle guidance helps you find peace and clarity amid the chaos.

    What I Loved:

    • Compassionate Wisdom: Chödrön writes with an incredible sense of compassion and understanding. Her insights are drawn from Buddhist teachings, but they’re presented in a way that’s accessible to anyone, regardless of their spiritual background. The book feels like a warm, comforting presence that reassures you it’s okay to feel vulnerable and lost.
    • Embracing Uncertainty: One of the central themes of the book is the idea of embracing uncertainty and impermanence. Chödrön teaches that it’s precisely in our moments of discomfort and fear that we can grow the most. This perspective shift is incredibly empowering and can help you face life’s difficulties with more resilience and grace.
    • Practical Advice: Beyond the philosophical and spiritual insights, the book offers practical advice for dealing with difficult emotions like fear, anger, and sadness. Chödrön encourages readers to stay present with their feelings, rather than running away from them, which can lead to deeper healing and understanding.
    • Meditative Quality: The writing itself has a meditative quality, with short chapters that you can read slowly and reflect on. It’s the kind of book you can pick up and put down as needed, making it a perfect companion for tough times.
    • Universal Relevance: Although rooted in Buddhist philosophy, the themes of the book are universal. Chödrön’s teachings about love, compassion, and acceptance are relevant to anyone going through a difficult time, regardless of their beliefs.
  • JJ
    5.0 out of 5 stars Serendipity led me to this book
    Reviewed in the United States on June 22, 2011
    The angels were busy taking care of me when I bought this book. The book flew off the shelf in that famous DC, Dupont Circle bookstore called Kramer's. I was literally trying to pull out another book when this one fell out of the shelf. As I caught it and looked at the title I groaned, but recognizing that it may be just the book I was looking for without knowing it, I opened it. Immediately I found myself reading about how to address the sad circumstances I had found myself in after facing death on the surgical table, and shortly after life-threatening violence from a partner (my true love) I had to ask to leave, and he left. This was only three weeks after my broken body and heart tried to rise above and go to a meeting I had planned on attending for some months. I realized immediately how faking my happiness was a mistake and not helpful. Being a buddhist, somehow I was lost in many not so great practices such as having plenty of champa, and wanting confirmation, and even having a major savior complex, all things Pema explains are the opposite of the path. Instead she teaches you tonglen in this book which means to breathe in the pain and poison, yes to embrace it, and to transform it on the out breath into happiness and joy. But not just your pain, but all others as well in similar circumstances. This has been useful all on its own, but this book has a deepness that cannot be described in a review. There are new ideas throughout and reading many times will maybe not be enough. Get this book and treat it with open curiosity as she intends it. Follow some of her ideas and you will begin to see transformations, but be patient. My gratitude is difficult to measure. This book saved me from longs bouts of blaming and bitterness, and has more than filled what I had perceived as a hollowness that threatened to consume me. It takes work, but that is what is so lovely about buddhist precepts, no one expects you to get it immediately, and it is a process. If we all learned to love and thank our enemies, and radiated joy in a non-self -centered way what a world we would have. I bought a second copy of this from Amazon, and sent it to my ex-partner to help him as well. You can never run away from yourself, or your pain, instead run toward, examine your moments in life with curiosity, and strive to let go of ego. Enjoy this beautiful book written with much love.
  • NM
    5.0 out of 5 stars An amazing book
    Reviewed in the United States on February 8, 2024
    I have finally realized that most Buddhist teachers write different books for students of Buddhism at different levels. This book, I feel, is written for someone like me - an intermediate student - no longer a beginner, but definitely not advanced.
    Pema Chodron is an amazing teacher - very down to earth and yet very knowledgeable and intelligent about Buddhism, both its Asian roots and how it can be integrated into our contemporary Western culture.

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