Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars | 5,320 ratings

Price: 19.68

Last update: 07-08-2024


Top reviews from the United States

Rhya
5.0 out of 5 stars Good--Has real actions to take
Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2013
Get the Guy is an engaging, insightful book that will help us with out love lives--if we act on it. Matthew knows this, and we know this, and this book actually has actions we can take to improve our lives. Instead of answering the traditional question "what is wrong with me" Matthew answers "what can I do about it", and for that reason alone this is a worthwhile read.

Get the Guy also tackles the question in a different way. Makeover shows and common thought focus on women's appearance, but Matthew almost entirely ignores it. Instead his premise is that you haven't met your guy because you haven't been meeting anybody new, male or female, in the last week or even month. How can you meet the right man if you only meet one new person a week? By sheer numbers it would take you 10 weeks to meet 10 new people and you would be lucky for your guy to be one of them.

Therefore the major effort of part one is to give us techniques to go out and confidently chat up new people and build a bigger social circle. He argues that having a great social circle gives us more confidence because we have lots of fun things to do, but it also makes us more attractive to the guy. After all, if we have a great social circle and life, he will probably want to be a part of our wonderful life. Having an active life also keeps us from fawning over a guy's every action and gives us a stronger resource to fall back on if things don't work out. If you already have a great social circle and life, he wants you to bring more people into it--if you're not meeting new people, you're not going to find your guy.

The rest of part one is about other things we worry about--how to start a conversation without seeming intimidating or forward, how to deal with texting and online dating, and more. Part two is more focused on what mindsets, actions, and habits help or hinder us in relationships. He has a formula for attraction and reminds us to be playful and a bit sexy as well as techniques for how to skip the small talk and get into meaningful conversation. He even talks about insecurities, sex, and why he hasn't called.

Part three is called Keep the Guy and about commitment, how to be the right one for him, and how to tell if he's the right one for you. A lot of it comes down to matching values, and that's where he draws from part one. If you held true to your core values while you were meeting new people, you'll have done half the work. He also goes into detail about what guys think about commitment, and how to get guys to commit.

If any of those topics interest you, you'll probably learn something from Get the Guy. If you want an honest take about dating and actual steps to take, this book is for you. However, if you don't want to do anything, you just want to read about stuff, this book probably won't help you more than any other. Matthew has a phrase: you either wait or create when it comes to your life. You can wait around whining or start to enact change right now.

One final note about the book--Matthew has embedded links to videos within the pages. They're from his seminars and add a visual/auditory element. I rather liked them; they cover the things that are difficult to explain in person, so they rarely repeat the printed content.
Chicago Book Addict
5.0 out of 5 stars My new favorite relationship book
Reviewed in the United States on June 5, 2013
I'm a voracious consumer of relationship books so by now many of these type of self-help books come across as been there, done (and read) that. So I was surprised while watching Ready for Love how much new and valuable advice I got from this author. When I found out he had written this book I downloaded it immediately and finished it just as quickly.

This book is easily one of the best relationship books I've read. It takes you through how to find a guy, how to get the guy, and how to keep the guy. What I love about it is that Hussey does a great job of demystifying men and helping you figure out how you can use this understanding to have more success in your love life. As others have said, his suggestions also don't involve changing your core self, something I truly appreciate. This is a breath of fresh air compared to some of the books that offer up tips that make a woman feel down right desperate or manipulative. There's none of that in here. He also has a great way of breaking concepts down and making them feel approachable and giving you clear direction about what you can do differently to achieve better results. This isn't just theory here, there are plenty of tangible tips.

What I also loved is a lot of the book centers around making yourself into a high value woman. The tips he gives you here are things that will help you make your life more satisfying and exciting whether you find a man or not. To me this was great because it meant you'd be making changes for yourself and having more luck with men would just be an added bonus.

I think my only caveat would be if you want to truly take advantage of the book you have to be willing to change your behavior and put his tips into action. This isn't the kind of book that will convince you that you are already doing everything perfectly and it's only because of bad luck that you haven't found Mr. Right. Some of the things he asks you to do may be slightly outside of your comfort zone, but they are necessary to see more success.

Overall I can't say enough good things about this book! I've already been using his tips (both those from the book and the show) and have been really happy with the results. Not only do I feel like I'm more successful at dating but I feel much more confident in what I have to offer. I've already recommended it to several of my single girlfriends! If you're looking for other good books I'd also recommend  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts , Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind?and Keep?Love , and  He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships . I found each of these books taught me something different and together they have made me a much smarter, more aware, and more successful dater.
Alona
4.0 out of 5 stars Trite but insightful
Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2024
Some of the information in this book is quite contrite, but that’s to be expected. These methods can be effective if applied correctly. It doesn’t mean they apply to everyone. Matthew does out certain things in perspective which I found useful. Therefore, I enjoyed the book.

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