Sociopath: A Memoir

4.3 4.3 out of 5 stars | 3,585 ratings

Price: 17.71

Last update: 12-29-2024


About this item

The acclaimed New York Times bestselling memoir of the author’s struggle to understand her own sociopathy and shed light on the often maligned and misunderstood mental disorder.

“A cross between a podcast by relationship therapist Esther Perel and a salacious tell-all.” —San Francisco Chronicle

Patric Gagne realized she made others uncomfortable before she started kindergarten. Something about her caused people to react in a way she didn’t understand. She suspected it was because she didn’t feel things the way other kids did. Emotions like fear, guilt, and empathy eluded her. For the most part, she felt nothing. And she didn’t like the way that “nothing” felt.

She did her best to pretend she was like everyone else, but the constant pressure to conform to a society she knew rejected anyone like her was unbearable. So Patric stole. She lied. She was occasionally violent. She became an expert lock-picker and home-invader. All with the goal of replacing the nothingness with...something.

In college, Patric finally confirmed what she’d long suspected. She was a sociopath. But even though it was the very first personality disorder identified—well over 200 years ago—sociopathy had been neglected by mental health professionals for decades. She was told there was no treatment, no hope for a normal life. She found herself haunted by sociopaths in pop culture, madmen and evil villains who are considered monsters. Her future looked grim.

But when Patricreconnects with an old flame, she gets a glimpse of a future beyond her diagnosis. If she’s capable of love, it must mean that she isn’t a monster. With the help of her sweetheart (and some curious characters she meets along the way) she embarks on a mission to prove that the millions of Americans who share her diagnosis aren’t all monsters either.

This is the inspiring story of her journey to change her fate and how she managed to build a life full of love and hope.


Top reviews from the United States

Jeffrey L
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating story & meditation on life with feelings we do not want - but is it entirely true?
Reviewed in the United States on April 15, 2024
I was riveted by this book, and read it from cover to cover in a few days. Despite some of the caveats I mention below, I believe this is worthy of 5 stars and is well worth reading.

Summary: Very briefly, the book is the author's life story about growing up as a sociopath. As the book describes, sociopaths have some capacity for emotions such as empathy and love, but it is far more muted than most people's. The story tells of the author's journey to understand and accept herself. I found the story very entertaining and an easy read.

Why should you read this book?
- The book takes you into the mind of a sociopath, and it is fascinating to see the world through a viewpoint that is radically different than one's own. It also shows provides a reframe of a word with a very negative connotation.
- For those who have sociopathy, this may be a chance to read a book that helps you understand yourself, and provides words for your reality.
- Most significantly for me, the book is a deep exploration of what life is like when our inner emotions do not align with what we believe we should be doing. This is a topic that I believe almost all people can relate to. Whether it is someone who struggles with addiction, deals with compulsive behaviors, has a temper or loses control in any way, we are dealing with a reality where our own behaviors are not aligned with how we believe we should be behaving. This is incredibly common, and yet, the conversations about this reality and the challenges it creates, including the practical impact of these behaviors on ourselves and others, but also the emotional and psychological impact of feeling as if we are not in control and we are not living up to who we want to be, can be enormously damaging. And yet, we rarely talk about this. Most people do not have the vocabulary to explore this or communicate about this. And this is something that the book provides. And a reason I believe it is a very important read even in light of my later comments.

Is it for children: The content and book length are probably not suitable for very young children. For those who are considering it for children and want to know about the content, it has a bit of violence and talks extensively about breaking the law. There is some language. Sex is barely mentioned.

Is it Real: There are times in the book where it felt to me as if the story and revelations 'fit together' a bit too well and this made me wonder about whether aspects of the story were fabricated. The author notes in the beginning that some characters are composites, and throughout the book, provides insight into her grappling with telling the truth. I (of course) do not know whether the story is basically true, or if aspects are not. I am also not nearly enough of an expert to know whether the understanding of sociopaths as portrayed in the book is in line with modern research.

Even with this said, I highly recommend reading this book. It is thought-provoking and entertaining and easy to read.
Sydney Brickey
4.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful insight into the reality of life as a sociopath
Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2024
Patric Gagne has written an exceptional memoir. Entertaining, honest, and meaningful. I am glad I found this book, thus changing my bias about people diagnosed with sociopathy. I was guilty of buying into the Hollywood image of a sociopath, and I see now how wrong that is. I appreciated that Patric said in the introduction that she was very privileged and lucky to have the upbringing and opportunities she has had, otherwise things could have ended very differently for her, the way if ends for a large amount of sociopaths as seen at the prison her uncle worked at.
The writing style played almost like a novel with the addition of scientific research and personal anecdotes. Patric is doing excellent and important work with this memoir. I will be recommending this to everyone I know for years to come!
A writer
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book was God-sent! Excellent Information and Great Writing!
Reviewed in the United States on September 1, 2024
This book completely changed my views on Sociopathy, and helped me understand my adult daughter, who is a non-empath. As my daughter became a teen, she pulled away from me, and would never let me inside her mindset, or discuss why she was so distant, or why she hated to be touched, or preferred to be anti-social and not make friends. No matter how I tried to connect with her, she stayed aloof from me, and would not express herself. By the time she was in her early twenties (she is now in her late twenties), she finally let me know she was a non-empath, which helped explain why she was emotionally distant. It was Ms. Patric's story that helped open my eyes to understanding my daughter's disposition in a way I had never been able to do before. Her book absolutely helped me "get" why my daughter could not feel empathy, guilt, or remorse. Because of Ms. Patric's book, I was able to stand in my daughter's shoes, so to speak, and comprehend what my daughter experienced every day growing up, with not being able to relate to her emotional (empath) mother and father, and why those differences kept us apart. I had failed to understand my daughter before, but this book provided me with the tools to "see" her and accept her!
Anita
3.0 out of 5 stars interesting
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2024
Is this the time for an unrealiable narrator? I don’t think so. I found the book to be interesting and intriguing. Different from other memoirs I have read and I understand some of the topic better now

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