If You Find Me

4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars | 1,940 ratings

Price: 11.57

Last update: 12-22-2024


About this item

A deeply compelling mix of high school drama and page-turning mystery that asks profound questions about family, truth, and love

Fourteen-year-old Carey and six-year-old Jenessa have been living in the woods with their mother for as long as they can remember; the sheltering trees and a broken-down camper are all they know. But what they’ve never been told is that Carey vanished from the real world ten years ago, when their mother took her, causing an uproar in the media - and in her father’s life.

Now, abandoned by the mother they trusted, they’re often left alone for long periods of time to fend for themselves - but, in one moment, everything changes. They’re found by Carey’s father and thrust into a bright and perplexing new world, one of shopping malls, shiny appliances, new clothes, and mouth-watering food. Carey desperately wants to believe in this new reality but is held back by a deep and painful loyalty to her mentally ill mother, who gave Carey her violin and taught her how to play the soaring music that helps her survive.

And then there’s the other piece of Carey’s past that haunts her, the story of what happened to her and Jenessa on that dark night in the woods - the reason Jenessa hasn’t spoken a word in over a year. Will Carey ever be able to trust her father and his family enough to fit into this new life? Will Jenessa finally break her silence and ruin the cocoon of safety that Carey’s built so carefully around them? And what will happen if the secret comes out?


Top reviews from the United States

  • Just read it already
    5.0 out of 5 stars Deeply moving
    Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2013
    For the last several years, fifteen-year-old Carey has lived in a dilapidated old camper trailer hidden deep in the woods with her younger sister, Janessa. Their bi-polar, meth addicted mother insists it is to keep them safe from their abusive father. She warns them against trying to leave, and they obey. Even when things get rocky for them when their mother insists on leaving them alone for weeks, sometimes months at a time.

    One day, after their mother has been gone for over a month and the girls are running dangerously low on food, a woman and a man appear to take the girls away. The woman is from social services and the man is Carey's father -- a man she hasn't seen in years. According to the woman, their mother had written to social services saying she could no longer care for the girls and they are to go live with Carey's father and his new family.

    Now the girls are thrust into a life with electricity, warm beds, real food and human interaction. It's a huge change for the girls, but it appears it's for the better. But is Carey's father really the gentle man he appears to be? According to her mother, he was abusive, but was that just another lie she told to keep Carey under control? And once her new family finds out what Carey did in those woods to keep her and Janessa alive, will they still want her?

    What an emotional ride this one was and a lot of that had to do with the depth of the characters. Carey was such a wonderful protagonist. The poor girl has been through so much, yet she stays strong, doing everything in her power to protect her sister. The bond between her and Janessa was so tangible and real, it made my heart hurt. The supporting characters were just as powerful and even the most minor of characters serve an impressively large role in the overall story. I felt every one of them and understood their motives. From Carey's father to his new wife Melissa, bratty step-sister Delaney and Mrs. Haskell the social worker, each of them has a role in Carey's journey. Even if some of them aren't in the story much, they still have an emotional impact. What was even more effective was the character of Carey's mother. We never meet her (other than a few flashbacks), but even her character is palpable.

    The writing in this book is flawless. The voice is spot-on, the prose drips with emotion and the plot unravels at a perfect pace. Woven into Carey's story is a mystery about what happened on a night she refers to as the "white-star night", the night Janessa stopped talking. This is the major event she'll have to deal with if she ever really wants to move on. There were several passages in the book that had an impact on me, but one simple line toward the very end made me choke up. I won't give it away, but it's a line that ties back to the title.

    This book reminded me somewhat of Laura Weiss's Ordinary Beauty (one of my favorite books). Both are stories about girls who are forced to grow up way too soon at the hands of incompetent, meth-head mothers. Both books are powerful, raw, emotional, beautifully written and both are books I highly recommend.

    This is a very impressive debut and Ms. Murdoch is definitely an author I'll keep my eye on. If you are a fan of gritty, emotional, character-driven stories, this is a book you must pick up. You won't be sorry.
  • MTS
    5.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful story of hope, despair, and the love and devotion of two sisters
    Reviewed in the United States on March 29, 2013
    on't you love it when a book lives up to all of its pre-publication hype? I was near the top of the library reserve queue for If You Find Me, and I was content with that. Then I started to read some fantastic reviews and moving interviews with Murdoch, and I HAD TO HAVE this book; library reserve cancelled and replaced with an Amazon pre-order. It was everything I hoped and more.

    Characters don't get much better than Carey. So many times I wished I could reach through the pages to hug her and tell her how proud I was of her. She reminded me of Jennifer Lawrence's character from Winter's Bone. (If you like this book, you should see that movie.) Carey is a young girl who was dealt a horrible hand in life: unbelievable poverty, a meth-addled mother, and an absent father. She is also forced to be the caretaker for her mute younger sister. A terrible event in Carey's life is hinted at - something that caused her sister, Nessa, to stop speaking and that Carey is determined to keep secret. The secret slowly reveals itself to the reader, even before Carey comes clean. As I progressed through the book, I hoped I was wrong, even though I knew there was no other possible answer.

    I'll admit that I was worried Murdoch would spoil the magic by heaping more misery upon Carey's shoulders. That's a tactic some authors would use to unnecessarily hammer home the point that THIS GIRL HAS SUFFERED. Thankfully, we don't get that. The primary new roadblock set in Carey's path is an obnoxious stepsister. I also hoped Murdoch would not throw a big twist onto the end that would negate some of the beautiful story. We've all read enough books to have a certain level of expectation for this, right? There's a secret baby! Carey's methed-out mother is actually the President of the United States! Shorty is really a cat! (OK, that last one might have been fun.) Fortunately, this doesn't happen. There is one little surprise at the end, but it's presented in a very subtle, matter-of-fact manner.

    Murdoch makes us feel everything that Carey experiences - the good, the bad, and the very, very bad: the smells of the campfire and Carey's pee-stained coat, the bitter cold of her trailer, her fear of her newly-found father, and most of all, her fierce love and devotion for her sister that drive every move that Carey makes.

    It's hard to single out a favorite scene but I'll go with this: near the end of the book with Nessa and Shorty. It was full-on happy tears time for me. If you've read this, let me know if this scene choked you up, too.

    If You Find Me is the best book I've read in quite some time. Just for a little perspective, a few of my recent reads are: The Book Thief, The Fault In Our Stars, and Just One Day. As much as I loved those books, If You Find Me blows them all away.

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