Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars | 3,993 ratings

Price: 13.78

Last update: 01-31-2025


About this item

National Best Seller

An award-winning psychologist reveals the hidden power of our inner voice and shows how to harness it to combat anxiety, improve physical and mental health, and deepen our relationships with others.

Longlisted for the Porchlight Business Book Award

“A masterpiece.” (Angela Duckworth, bestselling author of Grit Malcolm Gladwell, Susan Cain, Adam Grant, and Daniel H. Pink’s Next Big Idea Club Winter 2021 Winning Selection)

One of the best new books of the year - The Washington Post, BBC, USA Today, CNN Underscored, Shape, Behavioral Scientist, PopSugarKirkus Reviews, Publishers Weekly, and Shelf Awareness starred reviews

Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself, and you’re likely to get written off as eccentric. But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head. When we talk to ourselves, we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead. When we’re facing a tough task, our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus - you can do this. But, just as often, our inner critic sinks us entirely: I’m going to fail. They’ll all laugh at me. What’s the use?

In Chatter, acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves. Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies - from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch, to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy - Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives, work, and relationships. He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk - what he calls “chatter” - can tank our health, sink our moods, strain our social connections, and cause us to fold under pressure.

But the good news is that we’re already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor. These tools are often hidden in plain sight - in the words we use to think about ourselves, the technologies we embrace, the diaries we keep in our drawers, the conversations we have with our loved ones, and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces.

Brilliantly argued, expertly researched, and filled with compelling stories, Chatter gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves.


Top reviews from the United States

  • Tarrent-Arthur Henry
    5.0 out of 5 stars Unlock The Power Of Your Inner Voice
    Reviewed in the United States on August 3, 2024
    Tell a stranger that you talk to yourself, and you're likely to get written off as eccentric. But the truth is that we all have a voice in our head. When we talk to ourselves, we often hope to tap into our inner coach but find our inner critic instead. When we're facing a tough task, our inner coach can buoy us up: Focus—you can do this. But, just as often, our inner critic sinks us entirely: I'm going to fail. They'll all laugh at me. What's the use?

    In Chatter, acclaimed psychologist Ethan Kross explores the silent conversations we have with ourselves. Interweaving groundbreaking behavioral and brain research from his own lab with real-world case studies—from a pitcher who forgets how to pitch, to a Harvard undergrad negotiating her double life as a spy—Kross explains how these conversations shape our lives, work, and relationships. He warns that giving in to negative and disorienting self-talk—what he calls "chatter"—can tank our health, sink our moods, strain our social connections, and cause us to fold under pressure.

    But the good news is that we're already equipped with the tools we need to make our inner voice work in our favor. These tools are often hidden in plain sight—in the words we use to think about ourselves, the technologies we embrace, the diaries we keep in our drawers, the conversations we have with our loved ones, and the cultures we create in our schools and workplaces.

    Brilliantly argued, expertly researched, and filled with compelling stories, Chatter gives us the power to change the most important conversation we have each day: the one we have with ourselves.
  • Reid McCormick
    4.0 out of 5 stars Simple, easy read...
    Reviewed in the United States on October 14, 2024
    This is a really interesting book about what goes on in your head.

    It is a simple and easy read.

    I enjoyed learning the science behind my thoughts and how I can better use my thoughts.

    So, if you hear me talking in the third person, the doctor told me to!

    I'm afraid after a few years, I will forget I even read this book.
  • L to the C
    5.0 out of 5 stars Valuable and enjoyable at the same time
    Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2021
    I love this book. Its style is perfect for a broader audience: the author does cite specific studies that support the tools he recommends, but without a zillion APA citations or the discourse-specific language you get when you read a journal article. The voice behind it is endearing––this is someone who allows himself to be vulnerable to his readers and empathizes with the anxieties we feel. I loved the way he shared his perspective as a husband and father. So many books written by men can feel pedantic and a little distanced––as though this is a detached professional with no experience of the pain his patients go through––and this is definitely not the case with Kross. He's kind, compassionate, self-effacing, and generally relatable.

    Kross makes specific recommendations for different ways to deal with chatter backed up by specific research studies. He uses a real-world example (sometimes his own, sometimes a famous person, sometimes just someone he's encountered in his research) to illustrate a particular type of struggle as well as a specific way of coping. He also shows how many of us go about coping with chatter the wrong way (for example, by venting to friends who encourage our venting, or "ruminating," to the point where we relive the anxiety-inducing scenario again and again).

    For people expecting this to be a jargon-heavy psychology article... this isn't the book for you, nor does it purport to be. This book is meant for a wide audience and, quite frankly, a wide audience needs it! My "chatter" has intensified during the pandemic, and I found comfort and value in the suggestions in this book, and especially in the compassionate tone in which those suggestions were made. I have already begun adopting the tools the author suggests, and I have already seen a difference in my ability to handle that inner voice.

    I highly recommend this book!
  • MetrixDefense
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent read!
    Reviewed in the United States on October 2, 2024
    Excellent read with many insights & relatable examples that make you think.

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