Where do I even start? Ames Mills is the queen of MM scenes or in this case MMMM scenes! While this may be her most smut filled story to date, despite the fast burn, the individual demons and trauma each MC dealt with took just as much center stage. I went from laughing to crying to almost throwing my phone to needing a panty change. What an intense ride! The plot itself could have easily been expanded into one of her signature duet lengths and I wished it had because I wanted to live in their world that much longer. Which really that was my only complaint, would like to have seen more mafia world development/interaction with their side mafia characters to balance the relationship dynamic concentration. Part of that maybe how much I’m used to the perfect balance of action-suspense/mystery-smut in her duets, where this felt very trimmed down and compact.
Speaking of smut, boy did Ames Mills cram in all the BDSM goodness into this one including a playroom, BDSM club, impact play, shibari, toys galore, including the all important safe words and aftercare. Hats off to how well the scenes were written, depicting how a healthy Dom/Sub relationship looks.
Regarding the character’s demons and trauma, please take the trigger warnings seriously for this book. While they all have different challenges they faced. As someone with both a parent and sibling each suffering from varying degrees of schizoaffective disorder (bipolar type) and alcoholism this book, Blaze’s journey especially, was very very personal to read and I honestly had to take breaks because I knew EXACTLY how Kane, Jaxson, and Eli felt in those moments Blaze was not stable even down to when Blaze clung to Jaxson as a safe space during his semi lucid moments including the feeling of helplessness, especially with the attempted suicide. The only difference was instead of leaning on the control offered by their Dom/Sub relationship, my family members self medicate with alcohol in an attempt to quiet their thoughts and smooth over their inability to functionally process the stresses of the world around them. And for anyone claiming they should have done more for Blaze, or were selfish in not wanting to hospitalize him in the end, you’re thinking too logically and this situation, this type of psychosis, is anything but. You can’t be logical or reasonable with someone who isn’t able to process the world around them as the average person would. You have no idea what it’s like to live alongside that, wanting to help, but knowing your hands are tied because unless the person suffering wants treatment for themselves you can’t force them. Blaze didn’t want to be hospitalized, he didn’t want to leave the safety net of Kane’s world, and even if he did, considering their mafia lifestyle, that drastically reduced their treatment options for him. He wouldn’t have been able to discuss anything in his daily life with a psychiatrist for fear of the mafia business exposure. Plus with his enforcer training he was like handling a bomb, not something a hospital could have readily handled. He was lucky he even had people in his life that were willing to work around his needs as so many with his level of potentially debilitating symptoms end up ostracizing themselves from those they love and oftentimes homeless because they simply are unable to hold down employment and function within society. Thank you Ames Mills for sharing the reality of Blaze’s daily struggles, really all of them!!! It had me in tears.
I cannot wait for the next installment, hoping it might be Diego’s story as he seemed genuine in helping Kane and Jaxon navigate coming back together.
Tamie Adams Darrah
Jessika Altland
Kayla