What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter

4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars | 649 ratings

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Last update: 12-16-2024


About this item

Suzy Hopkins's and Hallie Bateman's new book, What to Do When You Get Dumped, comes out in January 2025 and is available for pre-order now!

A mother's advice to her daughter-a guide to daily living, both practical and sublime-with full-color illustrations throughout.

One sleepless night while she was in her early twenties, illustrator/writer Hallie Bateman had a painful realization: her mom would die, and after she died she would be gone. The prospect was devastating, and also scary-how would she navigate the world without the person who gave her life? She thought about all the motherly advice she would miss-advice that could help her through the challenges to come, including the ordeal of losing a parent.

The next day, Hallie asked her mother, writer Suzy Hopkins, to record step-by-step instructions for her to follow in the event of her mom's death. The list began: "Pour yourself a stiff glass of whiskey and make some fajitas" and continued from there, walking Hallie through the days, months, and years of life after loss, with motherly guidance and support, addressing issues great and small--from choosing a life partner to baking a quiche. The project became a way for mother and daughter to connect with humor, openness, and gratitude. It led to this book.

Combining Suzy's wit and heartfelt advice with Hallie's quirky and colorful style, What to Do When I'm Gone is the illustrated instruction manual for getting through life without one's mom. It's also a poignant look at loss, love, and taking things one moment at a time. By turns whimsical, funny, touching, and above all pragmatic, it will leave readers laughing and teary-eyed. And it will spur conversations that enrich family members' understanding of one another.


From the Publisher

What to Do When I'm Gone: A Mother's Wisdom to Her Daughter


Top reviews from the United States

Anusuya
5.0 out of 5 stars I loved this book!
Reviewed in the United States on December 1, 2024
My mom passed away 10 years ago but there is never a day that goes by that I don’t miss her! There were so many things that Suzy Hopkins wrote about that resonated with me and my mother.- there were so many times I laughed out loud and “could hear” my mom! The writing style was great- honest, upbeat and with so much of good advice thrown in.
Patricia Cotter
5.0 out of 5 stars buying one for each of my 3 daughters
Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2024
Lovely encouraging and sympathetic book. My kids say “I don’t know what I’ll do when you’re gone” and I hope this will help
Kathie Smith
5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book
Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2018
I love this book! So far, I've purchased three copies - one for me and one for each of my daughters. There aren't enough words in my vocabulary to express the depth and breadth of the emotions that "What to do When I'm Gone" evoked in me. Yes, death, inevitably, is accompanied by sorrow, and there are passages that brought tears to my eyes. But, mostly, this gem of a book made me smile and even laugh out loud, because it is more than just a book about loss, it is a book about the continuity of life, in all its wonderful complexity. This talented mother and daughter team have created a gift that will enrich the emotional life of everyone who reads it. Not only is it brimming with soulful advice and enticing recipes (although I might skip the peppermint in the brownies - but that's just me), every page is alive with vibrant artwork that marks Hallie Bateman is an illustrator to watch. Being a mother or a daughter or even a woman is not a requisite - a friend of mine has ordered a copy for her son. I can almost guarantee that if you purchase one copy, you'll be back for more. Enjoy!
Kindle Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Nice
Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2024
It is good to plan death. I am not sure how easily death is forgotten while alive. Nice book by Suzy.
Luann Hopkins
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is so much more than the title suggests
Reviewed in the United States on April 4, 2018
My copy of this wonderful book arrived today. I opened it and couldn’t put it down until I’d finished. I laughed, I cried, and then I laughed even more. What a lovely legacy among mother and daughter. Although, as I read the book, I thought much of the wisdom could be shared by mother and son, aunt and neice, and so on. In our culture, we don’t talk enough about the eventuality of death. This story, so elegantly illustrated, is a gentle and fun way to start a meaningful conversation with a loved one on this important topic, and learn a few great recipes along the way.
Yeewan
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome
Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2023
Such a humorous book to talk about a heavy topic. Very wise advice, awesome graphics, extremely enjoyable read
Joanne Castellanos
3.0 out of 5 stars A bit insensitive?
Reviewed in the United States on September 16, 2018
There are parts of this book that too the survivor in acute grief may feel it dismissive. I would want to discuss parts of the book in order not to have survivors feel like the author was insensitive to the reactions of grief experienced by adult children who may be feeling the pain of their parents loss.
Philip A.
5.0 out of 5 stars Very special book!
Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2018
Thoroughly enjoyed. I read it from cover to cover the first day it arrived and have savored it twice more since. It definitely has a permanent place in my book shelf. The writing is smart, funny and so very touching and the illustrations are amazing. Losing a parent or someone close is an inevitable part of life and this book is a wonderful conversation starter with those we love while they are with us. Looking forward to more from this talented mother and daughter.

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