I updated this review as I read...
By page 16, I’d already sobbed, laughed, sobbed, reconsidered who I am, how I live my life, and what I’m doing next, and cried again. So much fire lit. This is a masterpiece. Thank the universe (and Glennon) it published now. Lord knows we need this now. It is already one of my top favorite books ever, and I read a lot. Like, a LOT.
She talks about learning to access her own inner Knowing, which I had experienced as a miracle a few times in my life before I learned about this from the Guides in one of my other top books, I Am the Word by Paul Selig (and his other books). But this time I got a deeper, more practical grasp and inspiration around how and why to access that deeper knowing every day. She’s right that it only ever tells you just the next step... Kyle Cease talks about that exactly the same way, too.
I’m also feeling a revolution inside that I was already opening up to take full force... including the revolutionary wild act of feeling it all. Everything. FEELING pain, letting it burn, guide. She says, “I will continue to become only if I resist extinguishing myself a million times a day. If I can sit in the fire of my own feelings, I will keep becoming.“
By page 89, it is 3:41 am, and with my two small children asleep near my bed, I quietly sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, as my heart broke open. As I FELT. I’ve barely cried in years. In decades. I’m usually just trying to disconnect and numb feelings enough to keep going, to fit in, to stay the course, everything is fine. I’m fine.
I’m not fine. Our world is no longer fine.
p115: my husband called me on video chat (we’re thousands of miles apart right now) and he said, “Whoa, you look different. You’re glowing.”
Fire. Burning. Feeling.
p133: Turns out cracking open and feeling all the feelings isn’t just pain. Deep, body shaking joy came to our house today. Car, actually. After a difficult to describe very intense session of 5 people all air-planing our take-out lasagna bites to each other in our parked car and absolutely laughing out assess off this afternoon, my six year old says to me tonight right before bed, “It was so, so nice to hear Mama laughing. I’d say it is better than getting a toy.”
P... somewhere after p 200 some major personal shifts and awakenings occurred... too personal to convey at this time.
P324 I’ve been running from my mother since I left for college. Really since I got a car in high school, and before that when I fell in love with my high school freshman boyfriend, who was also my best friend. I escaped into the safe shelter of his love and caring, laughter and companionship.
And now, at 37 years old, it’s time to stop. Because of this book. I can stop, be with it, with her. To let it burn. To face the pain, the triggers, and let the fire engulf me and burn away what was never real. To tell the truth, and face my mother with an open heart.
I just moved in with my mom last night. I’m literally quarantined in small house with just the two of us and my two small boys (6 and 3). For the first time in my whole life, I am not afraid.
Thank you Glennon. My God... thank you.
I’m now going to click the “beginning” button in my kindle and read it all again.
I’m a little nervous and excited... the wild way my life is cracking open... I have no idea how, maybe I was really ready... this book has immediately and shockingly changed everything, and given me the map for change with truth, freedom and grace. With love.
Yes to the heartbreak. Yes to the pain. Yes to love. Yes to myself and my life untamed, in truth.
I am free.
*Update 6/30/20
I was just reflecting on the lasting ways I have changed since I read this book, and a huge one is being now pretty deeply comfortable being with the full range of my feelings, and also my children’s feelings. From that place, I’m able to help my children feel safe being with and feeling all their very strong emotions and experiences. I can help them let it burn. I can’t protect them from uncomfortable feelings, thank god I don’t need to. I can be present with them as they feel, next to them. I’m here. Feelings are for feeling. We can be curious. We can lean in.
Lainey
Anna Soman
c.mohr